Harry's Pets
by Shadows In The Sun
Summary: What if Harry was into "evil" pets?
1. Enter Mittens: The Evil Little Kitty

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. If I did I would rich and not writing fan fictions.

Chapter 1

Lately I've noticed a couple of Harry in Africa stories, were he does really well with the animals. Well, what if that started in a sense before Hogwarts...

The little boy in the cupboard was even more miserable then ever. The reason? His wale of a cousin was just given a puppy and never stopped bragging about it. The little boy rolled over on his far too small mattress before crying himself to sleep.

* * *

"Hmm." the boy's horse faced aunt seemed to be thinking of something.

"What is it Pet?" her mountain sized husband asked.

"What if we got 'the boy' a pet?" seeing her husband about to rant and rave she continued "I mean like a sick kitten or something, something that will die easy so we can tell him it's his fault and maybe take the wonder out of him."

The fattest pile-o-crap on the planet muled it over for a bit before reluctantly nodding in agreement.

* * *

The animal control van pulled up to a loading dock behind a pound and the driver switched off his ridiculously high volume stereo before killing the engine. As he got out the driver was relieved to see one of the aids was still present, it was late in the evening and most everyone else would usually be on the way home now and with the full load he had now he needed help. Walking around to the back of his van and opening it the driver was shocked. The only animal left in his ride was that little black kitten with the large paws. He had picked the damn thing up at the very end of his shift and now it was just snoozing in its cage, its open cage. Come to think of it, all the cages were open. Some of them slightly bent. Unfortunately it was too dark for him to notice the little drops of blood against the black interior of the van. Oh well, at least he had less work to do at the moment.

* * *

Vernon waddled his way into the pound and went strait to the desk. He noticed a somewhat frazzled looking blond behind the desk and rolled his eyes. He'd never be able to work with normal people outside of work.

"Pardon me Miss? I'm looking for a cat." he couldn't just come out and say a small sickly and/or dying cat or he wouldn't seem normal.

The blond's head snapped up so fast that even Vernon had to wince. "REALY!? Erm, I, uh, that is, of course. We only have one cat in at the moment though. A black kitten, perfectly normal. Would make a great pet, though it is somewhat anti-social..." the blond trailed off looking uncertain but, all Vernon heard was anti-social and of course. What Vernon failed to understand was that anti-social meant the cute little black kitten had a nasty habit of eating every other animal in the immediate vicinity. Stomping back to his car, in a way that would make an elephant envious, Vernon threw the animal into the passenger seat and drove off. If needed he could always just break the damn thing's legs and convince the boy it was his fault for being a freak. Besides it was a cat, little Ripper Jr. would make short work of it regardless. Was damn thoughtful of Marge to give the little pup to Dudley. Vernon never noticed two yellow, slitted, eyes narrowed at him.

* * *

"Any thing goes wrong with this damnable thing it'll be your own fault understand?" the king of all lard asses asked imperiously.

"Yes Uncle." Harry said softly. He didn't care if the damn thing had rabies HE HAD HIS OWN CAT!! Harry quickly scampered away to his cupboard, eager to play with his new cat.

"We'll give the boy a few days to grow attached, then show him what happens to freak pets."

* * *

Over the next few days Privet Drive saw its pet population drop to near zero. Even the wild animals like crows and mice disappeared from the background of the little neighborhood. Mrs. Figg stopped letting her cats outside when three had gone missing. Ripper Jr. seemed always on edge and kept peeing everywhere. Mittens, named because of her large paws, looked as smug as a cat could be. The Dursleys just KNEW it was the boys fault. Time for him to realize the cost of being a freak.

* * *

The next day Mrs. Figg awoke to the sound of a police siren. Quickly looking out her window she saw a police man walking Harry down the driveway of #4, the small boy clutching his pet cat to his chest, a haunted look in his eyes. Quickly leaving her house the old women made her way to the nearest officer.

"Excuse me officer," the uniformed man turned to her, "but what in the world is going on?"

The man grimaced slightly, "A case of abuse that led to that boy and his cat being saved. We found the kid locked in a cupboard under the stairs. Some wild animal or one sick son-o-bitch of a human got in last night and ripped the people apart. Even looks like something gnawed on 'em for a while. Half the dog is missing, looks like the top half got eating in one bite."

Mrs. Figg ran as fast as she could and flued Dumbledore. An emergency meeting of the Order of the Phoenix was called a few days later.

* * *

"Now, now Arabella, I'm sure the muggles are only exaggerating." Albus Dumbledore spoke in his 'I'm basically God so do what I say seeing as how I know everything' voice.

"Damn it Albus, I TOLD you the boy was being abused and do you do anything? NO! You just pull that stupid grandfather voice telling me its OK. Well it certainly isn't OK now! What happened to the Dursleys is all over the muggle media. That includes the abuse you old coot! Its already been proven by multiple investigators. Their also looking into the reports of abuse the school workers filed that never get fallowed up and that no one involved in remembers, your handy work I imagine. Face it Albus, you screwed up and its coming back to bite you in the ass. The fact that he was in an abusive situation, you put him there, and that there are obvious use of memory charms involved means that every one is going to know it was you who put The-Boy-Who-Lived into an unfit household and KNEW ABOUT IT!!"

As the women's words sank the door to the headmaster's office opened and Amilia Bones, fallowed by the top ten Aurors, none of whom Albus had any influence over, walked in. "Albus," the woman's voice was pure rage, "we need to talk."

* * *

All of Albus Dumbledore's past actions had been called into question. The Trial (or rather lack there of) of Sirius Black was the biggest issue. The nearly insane man was brought out and examined under Veratasirum and through Pensive memories. The vote was nearly unanimous, everyone came to the verdict that he was not guilty and that Peter Pettigrew was the traitor. That information was sent to all the newspapers and within an hour everyone in wizarding Britain knew Sirius Black was innocent. The only vote against him was from Dumbledore, who claimed the man was so dark that he was clearly fighting off the Veratasirum and was giving them false memories. He was ignored. Sirius was sent to Saint Mungo's for extensive mind healing. The investigation also showed that, through Lily, Harry had one last living relative who knew of magic, a fifth cousin named Terrance Brutt who, while non magic himself, would make an excellent guardian.

Unfortunately they didn't have enough hard evidence to convict Dumbledore but he lost most of his tittles.

* * *

Harry was blissfully unaware of this as he slept on with his new guardian in the next room. His little kitty was with him and he was away from the Dursleys. Life was good.

Said little kitty was currently looking out the window at the zoo down the street. If one were to look into the eyes of Mittens one would see a hungry gaze combined with an almost malicious intelligence. For you see the excitement of Harry Potter in the magical news made people fail to notice something very important...

A Nundu had escaped from a lab and was, thus far, unaccounted for.

Dun dun dun...

To Be Continued...


	2. Enter Spike: The Big Gross Bug

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. If I did I would rich and not writing fan fictions.

Chapter 2: Enter Spike: The Big Mean Bug

It had been several months since The-Boy-Who-Lived was relocated to his cousin Terrance Brutt's house and it was a good couple of months. Harry's 10th birthday was coming up in just a little while and Terrance, or Ter as his friends liked to call him, was taking Harry to the zoo today. Oddly enough the zoo kept having animals disappear every now and then but, the zoo was so popular that a monkey or parrot disappearing once a week wasn't that big of an issue. What Harry _really_ wanted to see was the Bug House. They even had some new bugs that hadn't even been properly named yet!

Unfortunately they weren't allowed to bring Mittens with them as pets couldn't be brought into the zoo. But the big, now the size of a lynx, cat didn't seemed to really mind. Zoo Ho!!

* * *

Harry was somewhat disappointed; the main attraction, some new form of scorpion, had fallen to the zoo's curse and went missing. Oh sure, the other new bugs were cool, various new spiders and such. But lack of a scorpion the size of a small dog was depressing. Oh well, he could always play with Mittens to cheer himself up. As the car pulled back into their driveway neither person noticed a large black object fall off the bottom of the vehicle. A clicking, shiny black object.

* * *

Later that night Mittens was on the prowl. Something was foolish enough to eat a squirrel in her territory WITHOUT HER PERMISSION! That something was going to die. Click. Mittens paused and strained her hearing. Something large with a carapace was nearby. Click, clack. Very near. Click, clack, rustle. Wait a minute, that came from her human's den. Moving quickly, without so much as making a sound, the black Nundu cub approached Harry's room. There was the intruder, resting comfortably with HER HUMAN!! The shinny animal rose from its laying position and lifted its tail above its self in threatening manner, while spreading its large arms wide. The intruder even seemed to hiss. Mittens arched her back and growled. No one exerted dominance over her. Plain and simple. She was the alpha here!

"Wow!" both animals turned to the fully awake Harry, who seemed to have stars in his eyes. "Mittens, you got me a knew friend! Thank you!" Shortly both animals were having the life hugged out of them.

If the giant scorpion had the ability to show emotions it would have had a shocked expression on its face. The hairless monkeys always screamed whenever they saw him, and that would make him angry and he would then sting and eat them. The last one to "hug", was that what the monkeys called it?, him was that nice old one with the pointy hat and twig. Come to think of it this one had a similar feel to him. Hmm? Well, that furry thing he ate earlier was kind of tasty, maybe he'd stick around for a while. Besides it was nice and warm in here as opposed to the cold outside.

Mittens rolled her eyes, her master had the ability to get along with damn near anything, and that starry eye thing always got to her. Damn her human for his ability to look so cute! And double damn her inability to resist his cuteness! Sigh. She'd just have to make sure the fat, shinny, clicky thing knew its place. Beneath her.

* * *

The next morning Ter was out reading the news paper in the kitchen when his ward wandered in, fallowed by Mittens. That was part of the normal morning ritual that was breakfast but, just after Mittens came in an irregularity happened. A black scorpion the size of a welsh corgi, not including the tail or the claws, came in after Mittens, its clawed feet clicking on the tile as it went along.

"Harry, is that a giant scorpion?"

The boy in question turned to his guardian and beamed a huge smile, "Yeah! His name is Spike, Mittens brought him for me!" Harry went back to making his pets something to eat; dog kibble for Mittens(she turned her nose up at anything smaller), and old stake for Spike.

Ter blinked a few times, shrugged and then went back to his news paper. He had read somewhere that cats brought their owners "gifts" or something like that.

* * *

Outside, in the shadows across the street, stood something that hadn't been seen in nearly ten years; a Death Eater. The man had been watching the house for a few days and was confident that he would be able to avenge his lord. The DMLE(Department of Magical Law Enforcement) had done an excellent job of hiding Potter but, not as good a job as Dumbledore, but still good enough that it took him a few months to track the boy down. Soon Lord Voldemort would be avenged!

Standing tall the Death Eater marched forward, toward the house, a smirk on his hidden face.

* * *

It was quite a seen the Aurors came to. The front door of the Brutt house was partially destroyed, there were a few scraps of a dark robe and both residences weren't really sure what had happened. Apparently some one broke down the door, yelled that vengeance was at hand, then there was scream and a lowed crack noise. Next thing the Aurors were streaming in. From the sounds of things a dark wizard came in, hurt themselves and then aparated away. One Auror commented on the stupidity of dark wizards in general, cast a reparo charm on the front door, had Terrance sign a report and then left. Only when the cost was clear did Spike come out from under the coach. Mittens just seemed to appear out of thin air grooming herself.

* * *

In Malfoy Manor, in the private study of Lucius, there was a lowed crack and the lord of the manor appeared only to fall, clutching his left leg. A gaping wound near the knee had been his reward for his attempt on Potter. The creature wasn't any thing he had ever seen before, but it had to be magical, there was no other way a muggle bug could get that big. Casting every healing charm he knew, the blond man silently prayed he had begun working in time. You don't work around a potion master as long as he had without realizing the signs of poisoning. Not to mention that the damn thing had stung him, and that tail looked like it came from a Manticor. That settled it then, it was some form of Chimera. A mean Chimera. After stopping the bleeding Lucius finally fell to unconsciousness.

* * *

Spike had come to a few conclusion. He liked stinging monkeys that smelled bad. The small monkey that fed him was nice. He liked having the top of his cephalothorax scratched by said small monkey. He still didn't like lowed noises and no problems showing his displeasure at shrieking monkeys. And the big, black growling thing was scary. Very, very scary. All things considered, he liked his new home. Things were fairly quiet, he was given food, warmth, and attention. What more could a giant scorpion want? Nearly purring as Harry scratched him, Spike drifted off to sleep.

From her perch atop Harry's dresser Mittens watched her human and "Spike" with a critical eye. The clicker didn't seem to be a threat to her human. It made her human happy, that was good. Plus he had protected her human from the "corrupted" human. In her short life she had encountered several of them and the marks on their arms was were that smell came from. Bleck. Reminded her of a rotting snake she had found once. Hmm. She'd let the clicker stay for the time being, and if he proved to be a problem she could just eat him. He looked like he'd be crunchy. And she was a good kitty that liked crunchy food. Licking her chops at the thought of a crunchy meal, Mittens leaped across the room onto Harry's bed without so much as ruffling the blankets.

As Mittens curled up next to him Harry could only say one thing, "Best Birthday Ever." before falling asleep.

From his position, just outside Harry's room, Terrance smiled. He had considered telling the Aurors about Spike but seeing the big bug sleeping(he assumed it was sleeping as it didn't have eyelids or the ability to show facial expressions) next to Harry, with Mittens keeping a watchful eye, he believed he had made the correct decision in keeping the big bug's existence a secret for now.

* * *

In his office at Hogwarts, Headmaster Albus Dumbledore frowned. Things were not going as he had planned. Harry was supposed to be with the Dursleys so that when he came to Hogwarts he would be easily molded into the perfect weapon against Voldemort. Now the Dursleys were dead and there was no one to torment Harry. Don't get the old guy wrong, he didn't want Harry to suffer, but damn it, the boy needed to be properly brought into the magical world so that he would instantly like muggle-borns, lite families and the lite teachers while at the same time learning to hate dark pure bloods. Now the boy was with Terrance Brutt of all people. The man may not be magic but had a high enough understanding of the magical world to prepare Harry in a way that would cause Harry to actually keep an open mind. Most people thought the man was a bit of an air head but Albus knew calculating and intelligent eyes when he saw them. Not to mention the guy was one of maybe 60 people on the planet naturally immune to any form of mental manipulation. Damn it. Sirius Black was problem as well. Now free, it was only a matter of time before he was healed mentally and would, undoubtedly, want to see Harry right away. Black would be even less controllable now than he was ten years ago, and with Dumbledore being the one who pushed for him go without trial it would be impossible to get near him again. He'd just have to wait for Harry to come to Hogwarts in a year and try to influence the young lad directly. Popping a lemon drop into his mouth the old man considered his latest failed plan. He had allowed information regarding Harry's location to slip to Snape. He knew the man would wind up telling Lucius and that Lucius would make an attempt on the boy's life. Most likely Terrance would die or be injured before any Aurors could arrive bringing up the question of were to put Harry. Albus would then use this by bringing up that he had said Terrance wouldn't be able to provide proper protection for The-Boy-Who-Lived. He would subtly suggest the Weasleys and then BAM! He would have control of Harry's upbringing once again. Through the portraits, house elves and his floo monitoring charms he had learned of Severus and Lucius' conversation. Some animal had attacked Lucius before he could do more than knock down the door. From what he understood the thing had been some form of Chimera and had stung Lucius in the leg. The Death Eater had treated the wound as best he could before passing out from the poison and pain but the damage had been done. Lucius' cane was for more than show now. That was what the blond man had been flooing about, pain potions and anti poison potions. Odd, the reports he got from his contacts in the DMLE made no mention of any animals outside of a cat's litter box in the garage. This was even worse. The first pet the boy was supposed to get was an owl, of Dumbledore's choosing, with a tracking charm on it. The old man put his head in his hands and wondered what had caused things to go so wrong.

* * *

The cause of Dumbledore's problems was currently out for a midnight stroll when a net was dropped over her. Looking up the black feline regarded the fat, ugly, animal catcher and was reminded of the large, chewy one that her human used to stay with. Swelling up to the size of a small horse, Mittens belched out about 600 different plagues causing the fat human to die before he could even scream, though he did barf up his own intestines and his eyes melted. After gobbling up her midnight snack, Mittens shrank back to her lynx sized form and trotted off back to her human's den and his nice warm bed.

To Be Continued...

**ANIMAL LIST!!**

Name: Mittens

Species: Nundu

Nundu Description: An east African beast, widely thought of as the most dangerous one in the world. The Nundu is a giant leopard which moves in complete silence. Its breath causes such disease as to kill entire villages. It has yet to be subdued by fewer than one-hundred knowledgeable wizards working in unison.

Mittens' Description: Totally black fur. Amber yellow eyes. Feet look somewhat large on her body. Variable size; can be as small as a kitten or as large as a Clydesdale horse.

Name: Spike

Species: Unidentified scorpion species, magical in nature.

Description: Solid black shell with yellowish white joints. His poison is not exactly lethal but will cause great pain and necrosis(roting of the tissue). He will get bigger than a welsh corgi, I promise you. Despite the fact that he clicks as he walks he is really good at sneaking around, though not as good as Mittens.

I will have these at the end of chapters that introduces a new pet. They will **only** be on the new pets. If you want to know about a pet look up the chapter it was introduced in, with Mittens being the one exception as her description is here.


	3. Enter Hedwig: Like An Owl Out Of Hell

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. If I did I would rich and not writing fan fictions.

Chapter 3: Enter Hedwig: Like An Owl Out Of Hell

It was a peaceful morning at the Brutt homestead, everything calm and in its place. Until an owl tried to fly into Harry's open window and was promptly snatched out of the air by a gargantuan scorpion and quickly chewed up. Spike, now the size of a large cooler, let out what amounted to an arachnid belch before wandering away. About a week since the petting monkey(Harry) had celebrated his 10 coming of seasons and like clockwork, every day, at sun rise one of these feathery flying things would show up. How odd. Didn't they realize that all the others were dead. Not that he was complaining, they were much meatier and juicier than the colorful ones at his old prison. Spike clicked in laughter at that; as if that place could have really held him. Clicking in amusement Spike came across one of those damnable "letters". They were with every flying thing and stank of lemons. Spike was not a fan of citrus things, no sir. Barfing up the remnants of his meal onto the "letter" Spike thought about how best to bother the black one again today. She still hadn't figured out how he was getting the flying feathery ones. If Spike had had lips he would have smirked in satisfaction.

* * *

"Well," Minerva said thoughtfully, "they're arriving, he's just not getting them."

"Good residence," Snape snarled, "the school is better off without that brat."

"Severus," the headmaster cautioned in a voice he knew would anger the potions master, thusly causing him to be hostile toward Harry when the boy arrived, "mind your tongue. You don't even know the boy yet." Dumbledore was actually counting on the brooding man to destroy Harry's self worth so HE could come in as the savior and control him. It was for the greater good after all. Thats all that mattered.

Over the last year most of Dumbledore's cronies in the DMLE had either dropped off the map or disappeared while attempting to "obtain" Harry. He couldn't even call into question why they never came back from Harry's because then the questions of why they were there and how he knew would be brought up. Working for the greater good was always tiring. Oop! The charmed stick that monitoring his latest workers health broke in half. Well, as the muggles say, another one bites the dust. The sooner they got a hold of Harry the better. Sending off another owl Dumbledore waited. Maybe sending a second one in the same day would work.

* * *

Mittens was not a happy little kitty, no, far from it. She was currently a VERY LARGE angry kitty, spewing various diseases from her mouth filled with razor sharp, bone crunching fangs. "Spike", as her human called the little pest, had some how managed to get a hold of a large bird at least once a day and wasn't sharing! She shared the squirrels! The only thing she had found today was a filthy decrepit human, who didn't even taste good. A screech from above drew her attention. Ooooooh ho! A nice crunchy bird just for her. Rearing back onto her hind legs, while shrinking down to lynx size, her favorite, the Nundu pounced.

* * *

Harry had just finished cleaning up Spikes latest leavings when Mittens came trotting up to him with an ornate envelope in her mouth.

"Hey girl," he called her over, "watcha got there?"

The black cat dropped her cargo and sat down purring.

"Hm? It's addressed to me? Look at that, some one spilled red ink all over it."

Terrance just delved deeper into his news paper at hearing that. Some things he could understand. Some things he could accept. Some things he could intentionally misinterpret. But this was some thing he had chosen to completely ignore.

Like how they weren't allowed a mail man anymore and had to pick up their post from the post office. That, he really didn't mind. In many ways he was glad their old ass of a post man went missing. The fact that all of his replacements went missing as well was a little weired, he was willing to admit. But Harry blatantly ignoring the fact that it was blood on the letter caused him to pause. Maybe the deaths of the Dursleys really did scar him? Nah!

"How am I supposed to respond to this?"

Ter set his paper down and regarded Harry. "I guess we'll need to get you an owl. Fortunately I know of a magical pet shop that we can get access to without going into any magical areas. You'll have to leave your pets here though, I don't think the other animals will like feeling intimidated." What he left out was that he didn't want to take Mittens and Spike to what amounted to an all you can eat smörgåsbord.

"Cool, when can we go?"

"No time like the present."

* * *

Harry sighed in frustration. None of these owls had that certain "zing" he was looking for in a pet. Then he saw IT. A solid steel cage, covered in chains and padlocks with numerous warning signs on it. And within the cage...a snow white owl sat perched atop an artificial branch, calling to him.

Running up to his guardian, Harry blurted out, "That one over there in the cage! I want that one!"

Ter turned from his conversation with the, somewhat slow, assistant attendant about what tasted better, shoe polish or moldy bread and saw the owl in question. Hmm. All the WARNING: KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN signs were a bit of a deterrent but, far be it from him to deny a child a pet. Turning back to the none to bright man minding the register he announced his decision. "We'll take the white one."

* * *

Dumbledore couldn't help but to blink. A large white owl had flown **through **his office window, shattering the antique piece of stain glass work. The owl had then body slammed Fawkes off of his stand and commandeered the ornate perch for itself. When Fawkes had attempted to reclaim his spot the snowy owl had head butted the phoenix into unconsciousness. Now the ariel menace was balanced on one foot, holding out a letter for Dumbledore to take. The ancient Headmaster cautiously approached the evil owl, an obvious dark familiar, and took the letter. Reading the contents caused Albus to smile. His plan was still salvageable. If Terrance Brutt allowed Harry to use such a dangerous animal at a school then he was clearly a bad guardian. All he had to do was contact Amelia Bones and she would do the rest of the work.

* * *

"What is it Albus?" the head of the DMLE asked in an irritated voice.

"I thought you might like to see the horribly aggressive owl that Mr. Brutt allowed young Harry to use." With a flourish, Dumbledore threw open his office door to find...that it was completely immaculate, the broken window was even repaired. And the evil owl? It was sitting on his desk calmly watching the two of them. Fawkes was nowhere to be seen.

"This is what you wasted my time for?" Amelia was not amused by whatever little joke Albus was playing at.

"I-I swear to you Amelia, that thing broke through my window, attacked Fawkes and then gave me the letter."

Giving off an agitated sigh the old woman approached the white owl, who tilted its head to the side while regarding her. "And who might you be?" The owl held out, of all things, a business card. Taking the offered card from the bird Amelia Bones read it, "Hello, my name is Hedwig. I belong to Harry James Potter. I like bacon." The old women turned back to Dumbledore, "Oh yes, we can't have owls with manners now can we." At Dumbledore's horrified expression she almost wanted to laugh. One would think no one had ever used sarcasm in his presence. However the old man was not looking at her but, rather his desk. The moment Madam Bones turned her back the white owl stopped being so white. It was now about as tall as Albus' hip, had become a striking silver in coloration and was part reptilian in appearance. If Albus didn't know any better he would have sworn he was looking at a young Wyvern that had somehow grown feathers. The small arcs of lightning going between the feathers on its back were cause of some worry. The large, somewhat evil looking, stinger at the tip of its tail let out a drop of yellowish venom that fell to the floor and ate through some of the stone with a hiss. Hearing the hiss, Madam Bones turned back around, only for the silvery beast to shrink back into an owl before she could see it. "Hmm, thought I heard something. I'm leaving Albus, so please refrain from calling me when there is no crime." and with that she left.

"Well," Albus growled out, "I suppose you're happy?"

The snowy owl gave off a squawk of satisfaction before taking off, causing all the oddities on Dumbledore's desk to scatter. The bird circled the office a few times causing all sorts of chaos before smashing through the window again. Moments latter Fawkes fell from the rafters, hog tied in his own tail feathers. Dumbledore just sighed, knowing this year would cause him no end of headaches but, it was for the greater good and thats all that mattered. Wasn't it?

To Be Continued...

**ANIMAL LIST!!**

Name: Hedwig

Species: Chimera (Dragon, Owl, Thunder-bird mix)

Description: Dragonic Form: A white Wyvern with silver feathers (imagine an archeopterix with a long serpents tail tipped with a stinger) about the size of a full grown bald eagle with longer feathers running down her back. She can generate enough electricity to kill small animals and knock out humans. Her tail produces highly toxic venom that can eat through damn near every thing, but she can't make it in high quantities. She can breath out quick burst of super heated ash in little puffs.

Owl Form: Standard Hedwig, only faster and stronger. She will also be far more aggressive to any one other than Harry.


	4. Wands

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. If I did I would be rich and not writing fan fictions.

Warning: Deathly Hollows info in this chapter, only briefly but still there.

Warning Two: Sorry, no new pets this chapter.

Chapter 4: Wands

Harry Potter, The-Boy-Who-Lived, awoke one morning to the sound of knocking at the front door. Who the Hell would be knocking this early in the morning on a Sunday. Harry was ignoring that it was a Saturday and 10:14 AM.

Spike arose, his angry clicking filling the room. What ever was making that noise was about to get a serious pain in the butt. Literally or figuratively, he hadn't decided yet. The giant scorpion worked the pincers that made up the visible parts of its mouth in anticipation of something being eaten. By him of course, the black one and the silver one could fend for themselves. That would teach the silver one for head-butting him. It's not like he was actually going to eat the stupid thing. He was...playing! Yeah, thats it, playing. Absently scratching the spot on his cephalothorax where Hedwig had hit him, Spike shuffled toward the front door. He had seen the monkeys do this a million times, it couldn't be that hard. Propping himself up on the door, spike maneuvered his claw and twisted the knob. Carefully holding the knob, Spike shuffled backward, opening the door. Coming around to see what was about to die, he froze. This was, without a doubt, the biggest and HAIRIEST monkey he had ever seen. Damn, the black one would get this one easy. Stupid, growling, grow bigger than him at will thing!

"Well 'ello there!" Spike cringed at the noise, maybe he could kill it, hide it, and eat it a limb at a time?

"Oop," the monkey seemed to comprehend the problem and was now much more quiet. "Giant scorpion eh? Bet yer like Aragog, not to fond of noise eh?"

Spike had a pretty good understanding of the monkey language, he'd be dead before he was caught actually attempting to speak it though, stupid need for a tongue. But he was pretty sure he's never heard of an "Aragog".

"Excuse me," both turned to see Harry at the base of the stairs, "who are you?"

"Where are me' manners? Ahm Rubeus Hagrid, keeper ah keys and grounds at Hogwarts. I haven't seen ye' since ye' was a baby Harry. Sorry ta hear the goin' ons in yer' old home. But any way...sorry fer askin' but where are yer' glasses?"

"Hm?" Harry was kind of confused about this but, hey whatever, "Oh, I use contacts now." He was rewarded with a confused look. "You know, contacts? Little lenses you put directly on the eye?"

Hagrid blinked a few times before shrugging, he'd never understand muggles. "Quite a pet ye' got there Harry, quite a pet. Cute little fella."

"Oh yeah! Spike is mine along with Mittens and Hedwig!" Now Harry was on familiar ground, animals.

"Well, I hears all 'bout Hedwig from the Headmaster but, who is Mittens?"

The appropriate statement would have been "Speak of the Devil." As if asking about the cat had called it, Mittens seemed to materialize in front of Hagrid and gave a little merp noise in greeting.

Hagrid narrowed his eyes in thought. Something about the cat seemed familiar in some way. As if he should be worried. Humph, it was just a little kitty as far as he could tell. "Well 'ello there Mittens!" Hagrid reached down and gave the dark feline a pat on the head.

Mittens would have eaten the the large human if not for that her human was nearby. Darn it, this one looked so yummy too. At least he knew how to properly pet a cat. She'd lost count of how many random people she'd eaten just because they scratched her wrong. Oh, God Damn it! Her human was making friends with it! Now she'd never be able to eat it.

"Well Harry," Hagrid got to businesses, "'m 'ere ta take ya to Diagon Alley fer yer school supplies and wot not." Hagrid looked around for a moment, "Where's yer guardian Harry?"

"Hello," Hagrid's head snapped up in astonishment, he had JUST looked at the empty kitchen and now there was a man reading a newspaper and drinking a cup of coffee. From what he understood the man was incapable of doing magic. "I've been expecting you. Feel free to spend the day with Mr. Hagrid, Harry. Just be sure to get back here by 5:00 for supper."

"Just let me call Hedwig." Harry turned up the stairs and shouted out, "HEDWIG!!"

Hagrid was expecting the owl to fly in from somewhere and then settle near her master, as all owls did. What he was not expecting was for Hedwig to walk into the entry way from the bathroom after a distinct toilet flushing was heard. The snow white owl regarded him for a minute before giving off something of a wheezing hiss and fluttering up to Harry's shoulder. For less than a second Hagrid thought the owl gave him a murderously possessive glare but, just played it off as a trick of the lite.

"Well, I guess we'll be goin' t'en."

* * *

In his office Dumbledore sat in contemplation. The boy already had an owl, competent guardian, and some exposure to the magical world. The sense of wonder the boy should have had would be all but gone by the time he entered Hogwarts. Nearly all sure ways to manipulate the boy were now gone. There was one real way left. His wand. If the boy would use the wand with Fawkes' tail feather then every time he used magic Dumbledore could use his link with Fawkes to send mental suggestions to the boy and give Harry his idea of a suitable mentality. It would take time but, all good things did after all. Fortunately, he had put charms and wards around Olivanders to ensure that Harry would only be able to use the brother of Tom Riddle's wand. It would make him that much more of a powerful weapon against Tom when he returned. And keeping the Sorcerers Stone in the school would most certainly draw Mr. Riddle's attention.

* * *

"Alright, lets see." Harry held up his list for school and went over it once more. "Potions equipment? Check. Books? Check. Robes? Check. Owl? Already have the best ever." Hedwig, still perched on Harry's shoulder, gave a happy hoot and ruffled her feathers. "Wand? Where in the Hell do I get a wand?"

Hagrid frowned at the swearing but said nothing of it, "Well you'll be wantin' Olivanders. Only place ta get a wand I tells ya."

"What about down there?" Harry pointed down a dark side alley to a shop that only had WANDS painted directly on the wall above the door.

Hagrid looked horrified at the idea, "Harry you can't go down there! Thats Knockturn Alley!"

"Whatever, it says wands so I'm checking it out." Before Hagrid could argue Harry had started trekking down the dark, dingy alley.

The shop was dark with the acceptation of a small table lamp at the register. The smell of dirt and pine was thick in the air along with the faint aroma of blood. The shop was chopped in two, a long counter in the middle separating the hundreds of boxes that filled the store from the half connected to the front door.

"Well, well, well," Hedwig gave a frightened squawk and Harry actually jumped, no one had been able to sneak up on him like that outside Mittens and Terrance, "what have we here?"

The man standing next to Harry was somewhat tall, about 6' 7'' with long black hair done in a braid down to his knees. He was wearing black robes with a light blue trim that seemed to shine in an eerie silver lite. His right eye was covered by a dark red patch with a matching cord wrapping around his head. Three long, narrow, scars went from the top right of his forehead, behind his eye patch, and down to the right corner of his mouth. His visible eye was a deep purple in color and pierced Harry in a way that made him feel as though he was being judged by a God. The man's eye traveled to Harry's scar and he gave a empty chuckle that actually chilled Harry's blood. The man was beyond creepy.

"So Harry Potter has come for his wand from little old me?" The man then added in humorous sarcasm, "My heart is filled with nauseating warmth, I can now die happily." Harry had to actually laugh at that, he was still getting used to the whole celebrity thing. "Well Mr. Potter, lets find you a wand." The man walked towards the counter and part of it fell out of the way and then came back up when he was across. He instantly began going over the boxes as though it was a library and he was searching for a book, randomly pulling out a box here or there.

"Excuse me Mr..." "Just call me Mr. B." "Mr. B, why are you surprised to see me?"

"Well," he paused for a moment, "Dumbledore is probably still trying to manipulate you even after all that crap in the news a couple of years ago. I thought for sure you'd be getting your wand from Olivanders, after all, it's where Dumbledore's phoenix has donated its feathers."

"Is there anything wrong with getting a wand from Olivanders?"

"Not really, no. It's just that he doesn't really have any imagination. He's an excellent wand maker, don't get me wrong but, he only uses three different types of cores; Dragon Heart String, Unicorn Tail Hair, or Phoenix Tail Feather. I use whatever seems to work, constantly experimenting and researching in order to create the ultimate wand..." Mr. B trailed of in a dreamy tone. After rummaging around for a few moments more he turned around with five boxes. He set down his cargo and opened the first box. "Sasquatch Brain-stem and Garry Oak, 13 inches. Give it a wave." Harry did so and a shop down the street collapsed. "Nope, try this one. Crystallized Gargoyle Blood and Black Pine, 11 and ¾ inches." A nearby flock of pidgins exploded. "Next. Spinal Tissue from a Hungarian Horn-Tail and Yew, 12 and ½ inches." There was now a hole in the shops wall. "Mmmkay. Cockatrice Stomach and Holy, 11 inches."

* * *

In front of Hogwarts Severus Snape was suddenly struck by lightning. Before passing out he muttered, "Damn...you...Potter..."

* * *

"Guess that one doesn't work for you. Okay. Harpy's Heart String and Red Wood, 12 and ¾ inches."

* * *

Back at Hogwarts, the Headmaster sat waiting for the connection to Harry to open up when about 47 pounds of bird shit landed on him.

* * *

"Guess that ones a dud to. Hm." Mr. B picked up the boxes and put the wands away while looking somewhat pensive. "Give me a moment Mr. Potter, I'd like to try something with you." The tall man disappeared into a back room and the sound of large boxes being moved about came out. Moments later he returned with an deep red box , wrapped in dark blue laces. The wand within was a deep black and seemed to pulse when Harry touched it. "This wand has some history behind it, so please give it a wave Mr. Potter." the result was a large gash being left in the air and a rainbow of multi-colored sparks spraying forth from the wand's tip. "I'll be damned." Harry looked at the man in confusion and so he explained, "Mr. Potter, before He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named there was an evil in this world just as great. The Dark Lord Grindelwald was single handedly responsible for World War Two and with his Elder Wand he was taking over the world. Near the end of WWII he was defeated by Albus Dumbledore, who now possesses the Elder Wand and its great and terrible power. But before Grindelwald had the Elder Wand he used one created by my great grandfather. With his first wand he was able to do monstrous things and terrorize his school of Durmstrang before being expelled and steeling the Elder Wand. The wand he used before the Elder Wand was one of two, created by my great grandfather on the day of his death. This wand is the brother wand of Grindelwald's first wand and is meant for great things. It is 12 and 5/9 inches of The Ebony Tree of Death, the only plant growing on the Island of Azkaban, it has been there since long before the prison and is where they hung the prisoners before they use of Dementors. The core is the Brain-Stem from one of the heads of a 200 year old Hydra, freshly slain. It has been waiting with my family for a worthy wielder and now it has found you Mr. Potter. Use it well."

Harry looked at the man for a few minutes before muttering, "How much do I owe you?"

Mr. B gave a hearty laugh that left him out of breath for a minute, "It's on the house lad. Just make sure you do great things with it or my Great Grandfather's spirit will stop resting in peace."

Harry nodded his consent before leaving, a confused expression on his face. Hedwig glared at the man all the way out the door, a glare that was easily understood; If Harry was harmed by the wand Hedwig would find him and no force on earth would save him from the owl. Mr. B just smiled at the bird as she and her master vacated the building.

"Well cousin Terrance," Mr. B smirked, "you were correct. We can expect great things from Mr. Potter, oh yes," the sounds of Hagrid yelling his happiness that Harry was unharmed filled the mid day air and drifted into his shop, "great things indeed."

To Be Continued...


	5. Welcome To Hogwarts Mr Potter

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. If I did I would be rich and not writing fan fictions.

Chapter 5: Welcome To Hogwarts Mr. Potter

Harry was in a bit of a bind. After returning home from shopping with Hagrid he had learned of his need to get on the Hogwarts Express at platform 9 and ¾. He had asked Hagrid if he knew what common sense was and was rewarded with a confused look. That had completely answered his question. Hagrid was a nice guy and had a love of animals just as great as Harry's but was a bit dense. When he had asked Terrance about it his guardian had answered, "It's ¾ of the from platform 9 to platform 10." Worse yet, Terrance had business to attend to in Wales and wouldn't be able accompany him to the train, just dropping him off at the station. When Harry expressed his distress over this his guardian responded with sound logic, "If you are responsible enough to take care of three pets then you should be responsible enough to get on a train by yourself." So now Harry found himself wandering toward platforms 9 and 10, pushing his trolley along, alone. At least he was allowed to bring Mittens and Hedwig. Unfortunately students were not allowed to bring giant scorpions so school so Spike had to be left at home. Harry cried for about 3 hours after being told that by Hagrid, saying that it was unfair and who were they to judge Spike? They didn't even know him! Hagrid completely agreed on that subject. Sigh, at least he was allowed to bring two of his pets.

Hedwig was sitting atop Harry's head looking around in anticipation of attack. Her master(and she wouldn't just use that term on anyone, he gave her bacon, honestly; you would think someone would pay attention to her card) was too trusting and **she** would have to protect him from those unworthy to be in his and her presence.

Sitting quietly on Harry's trunk, Mittens was having similar thoughts. The only difference being that she was contemplating how many of the "unworthy ones" she would eat. She also didn't consider Harry her master. It's just that he was the only human worthy of being in HER presence. He belonged to her not the other way around. Why did she live with him? She, uh, liked the view, yeah, the view. It had nothing to do with that Harry knew _just_ how to scratch her ears and rub her belly.

Within Harry's trunk a certain scorpion sat in the darkness plotting. There was no way in Hell they were leaving him out of this. The black one just wanted to eat all of the food where they were going and the silvery one was just trying to turn the petting monkey against him. This was all just a conspiracy to get him, just like with all of his siblings in his brood. He showed them too. Kathy was particularly tasty, she was awake when he stung her, he regretted that a little. Well, no matter. He would show those posers who the best was. While they were off doing whatever it was inferior beings did he would save the petting monkey and be the favorite! Not that he wanted attention mind you, he was just showing his superiority and dominance. He clicked in amusement, imagine that, a scorpion looking for attention. He had conveniently forgotten the little collection of things Harry had discarded that he had set up in the basement. The important thing was that Spike the scorpion was coming to Hogwarts.

Harry came to the column that was ¾ of the way down from platform 9 to 10. After circling it once he poked it and to his astonishment his finger slipped through! Fascinating. Getting back behind his trolley, The-Boy-Who-lived pushed through and was not too shocked to see an older model train and numerous people in robes walking back and forth in a seemingly private area of the station. Hm. He'd need to find someone to help him get his shit on the train. Aha! That one would do nicely. Tall, ugly, bad teeth and greasy hair. Perfect. "Hey you! The Goonish one!" And the boy turned.

* * *

Marcus Flint was not necessarily a stupid person. He wasn't very smart either. His usual approach to life was smash it and then move on to the next target. That worked really well for quidditch in his opinion. He was also greedy. Very, very greedy. He also had a sweet tooth bigger than Dumbledore's. He was currently casing the smaller first years to decide whom to shakedown for snack cart money. And then someone called to him. Turning toward the voice he saw what he could only describe as a muggle-born. The kid was wearing a hooded black sweatshirt and blue jeans, with black high top sneakers and a black wool cap that was pulled down to his eyebrows. On his shoulder was a white owl that seemed to be glaring at him in contempt and a cat on his trunk with a similar look in its eyes. "Yeah?"

"I need to get my crap on the train and need some help. I'd be willing to pay and what not."

Marcus raised an eyebrow and shrugged, he'd be able tell what the kid's finances were and, if needed, rob him later. "Whatever." And with that he picked up the kid's trunk and motioned for him to lead the way.

* * *

After finding an empty compartment Flint held out his hand expectantly. The boy dug around in his pocket for a moment and pulled out a handful of Gallions and put all of them in the stunned Slytherin's hand. "Thanks for the help."

Marcus just nodded absentmindedly, "Yeah...no problem...if you wind up needing more help ask for Flint, Marcus Flint."

"Thanks, I'll keep that in mind. Names Harry by the way, Harry Potter."

"Yeah, see you later Harry." Thoughts of all the sweets he could buy with the money he'd just made caused him to ignore the name.

It wasn't until he was back in his own compartment, stuffing his face with sweets along with three other Slytherins that what he was told registered.

"HARRY POTTER!?"

* * *

Harry looked up from the potions book he was reading. How odd. It sounded like someone had yelled out his name. The compartment's door opening drew his attention to the red head entering.

"Um, do you mind if sit in here, all the other compartments seem full."

"Not at all," Harry closed the book and began absently stroking Mittens, "this is Mittens and my owl's name is Hedwig. My name is Harry."

The boy looked thunderstruck, "Harry Potter?" Harry nodded, "Blimey, names Ron, Ron Weasley."

"Nice to meet you Ron." Harry noticed Mittens' gaze locked on Ron's pocket. "You wouldn't happen to have an animal on you, would you?"

"Yeah, my pet rat Scabbers." as Ron moved to pull out the rat Harry stopped him.

"I wouldn't do that." At Ron's confused look Harry elaborated, "If Mittens doesn't eat him Hedwig will."

Rod looked a little fearful at that. "Oh, well, I'll just leave him be for now then."

Suddenly the door opened and a bushy haired girl looked in, "Have any of you seen a toad? A boy named Neville lost his." After receiving a negative from both boys her attention locked onto Mittens. "Oh, what a pretty kitty!" as she reached for the cat an arrogant voice came from behind her.

"Out of the way you inferior, out of the way!" A blond boy shoved the girl out of the way and entered, followed by two of the dumbest looking people Harry had ever seen. The blond's eyes locked onto Harry and he demanded, "They are saying that Harry Potter is in this compartment, is that you?"

Harry arched an eyebrow at the question and ignored the girl's shocked look, "What if I am?"

The blond gave an arrogant smirk that made Harry just want to slap him, "So you are. The names Draco, Draco Malfoy. These are Crabbe and Goyel." The boy glared at Ron and the girl before muttering, "You don't want to go making friends with the wrong sort. I could help you there." Draco stuck out his hand to shake with Harry.

Harry stood and regarded the blond's hand for a moment. "I thank you for the offer but, I'm fairly sure I can figure it out on my own." Harry then reached up and took Draco's hand in a firm grip. Those workout sessions with Terrance had payed off. Little rich, spoiled turds like this one had 2/3 his strength, if that.

Draco for his part was trying to not wince. Damn but Potter's hand was strong! "Yeah," he grunted, "you're welcome." Draco finally managed to get his hand back and beat a hasty retreat.

It was quiet for about 10 minutes before Ron spoke, "That was wicked mate!"

Harry just shrugged and went back to his book.

"You're Harry Potter?" Both boys looked at the girl.

"Yeah, and you're?"

The girl blushed slightly, "Hermione Granger." She looked over at Ron and continued, "Sorry, I didn't catch your name."

"Ron Weasley."

The door opened once more and a tall girl with Slytherin robes and a badge with a P on it looked in, "I was just told that the three of you attacked Draco Malfoy. I will be informing Professor Snape of this when we arrive and..." "HACK" The girl looked down at the cat that had just coughed and was rewarded with a puff of green gas in the face. The three first years looked on in morbid fascination as the girl went pale and began sweating. She stumbled back into the hall, vomited and then passed out in said vomit.

Hermione rapidly found her voice, "Did that cat just breathed out a disease?" Harry nodded. "Oh my God. I've read about this. It's a Nundu! B-but their supposed to be spotted and HUGE!"

Still being somewhat unfamiliar with the magical world Harry had to ask, "What's a Nundu?" Both Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger looked at him as though he had just grown a second head.

Ron blurted out the answer, "There the most dangerous animal on the planet! They breath out horrible diseases and it takes at least 100 fully trained wizards to take one down! Even Dragons don't mess with them!"

Hedwig snorted, or at least the avian equivalent of a snort. Her mother was only half Dragon and had kicked a Nundu's ass. Granted it was missing both legs and its lower jaw but, it was still a Nundu.

"We have to report this to a prefect right away!" As Hermione prepared to vacate the compartment Mittens used her most powerful weapon on the poor girl. Hermione looked down and saw something that stopped her dead in her tracks.

Mittens shrunk down to her kitten form and looked Hermione right in the eye. Mittens' own eyes opened up wide and became slightly shiny. She then let out a tiny little mew and seemed to shrink in on herself. Hermione just couldn't help herself.

"Ssssooooo CUUUTE!!" The fact that Hermione was a cat person made her that much more vulnerable to the cute eye attack. Puring in satisfaction the Nundu hopped up onto Harry's lap and curled up for a nap.

"She may fall for that but, I wont!" Every eye in the compartment turned toward Ron. "That things a dark creature and should be killed!"

Harry didn't look angry per say. Incomprehensibly pissed off would be a better description. This was understood by Ron when Harry slammed him up to and held him against the wall. Harry's voice was a terrible, monstrous noise, "Mittens was the first good thing to **ever** happen to me and if you even _think_ about doing anything to get her harmed or taken away from me I. WILL. KILL. **YOU!**"

Ron gave a fearful nod and quickly vacated the area, Harry glaring at him the whole way.

It was silent for a few minutes until the downed Slytherin girl moaned and regained conciseness, "Where...the train...how..."

Hermione was the next one to speak, "Well we're almost to Hogwarts, we should get into our robes and then get some help for her."

* * *

Getting from the train to Hogwarts was uneventful; Harry met up with Hagrid again, learned of the giant squid, and met professor McGonigal. He was now waiting to be sorted, what ever the Hell that was.

"Students!" Everyone turned toward McGonigal expectantly. "You will now be sorted into your houses. While attending Hogwarts your house will be your family and home. Now then, follow me."

The first years followed the old Scottish woman and entered a large eating hall. The four houses were divided into four, long, tables. A separate table at the front of the room is where the teachers were sitting watching them with varied looks. One particularly greasy looking man had a look of pure hatred in his eyes as he looked at Harry and sneered. Oddly enough the man appeared to be singed. In front of the teachers' table there was a small stool and atop the stool was, of all things, an old worn hat. A hat that promptly began singing.

_**-If you want the canon song I am afraid you will have to look it up-**_

"_I will not wast my time_

_working on a rime_

_This story is for fun_

_not to make you run_

_Authors try to do a song_

_that usually turns out wrong_

_Most will speak of the plot_

_ruin my story I will not_

_I will not try for wit_

_or this story will become complete shit_

_Dumbledore's a fool_

_Snape is his little tool_

_Minerva can be a bitch_

_Hagrid's beard must really itch_

_The rime comes to its end_

_so fare thee well my friend_

_Go and enjoy the tale_

_maybe with some ale_

_If I do not bring this rime to a wrap_

_this story will most definitely be made into crap."_

"And now," Dumbledore called out, "let us commence the sorting."

McGonigal walked up to the hat with a list and began reading off, "Abot, Hanna..."

* * *

"...Potter, Harry..."

A hush fell over the Great Hall as Harry, still with Hedwig and Mittens, walked up to the stool. Before the hat even touched Harry it yelled out "Gryffindor!" The red and gold table erupted into cheers and Harry sat himself down next to Hermione.

At the staff table Dumbledore looked very pleased, the hat had fallowed his advice and put Harry in the same house as his parents. It also happened to be the easiest house for him to influence and control.

In fact, Dumbledore's suggestion had never crossed the hat's mind. The resent thoughts of Hermione Granger were at the forefront of its mind. Any one crazy enough to WANT a Nundu as a pet definitely had the kaho'nas to be in Gryffindor. Not mention that it had no interest in looking into the mind of someone that crazy. He had made that mistake with Belletrix Black, shudder.

Dumbledore gave his announcements for the year and then the food appeared. Mittens began devouring the whole roast pig. Hedwig looked around grumpily, there was no bacon to be found. Harry turned to the tall, ginger, boy next to him and asked where he could make custom food orders. Not a second after asking a little elf in a pillow case popped in next to Harry asking what it could get for Harry Potter Sir. Harry asked for some dog kibble, three raw eggs and a large plate of bacon. The little elf popped away to fill the order leaving Harry to think about things, like how Spike was doing.

* * *

Up in the Gryffindor dorm a little elf, on orders from Dumbledore, was preparing to look through Harry's trunk when it heard a clicking noise from within. The elf approached cautiously and peeked into the piece of luggage. Quick as lightning, a large pair of black claws shot out and pulled the elf in. Struggling could be heard until there was a wet 'splunch' noise fallowed by a methodical crunching.

* * *

The elf from the Great Hall, that Harry had learned was called Bibsy, had filled Harry's order and popped away again. Harry began breaking the eggs into the kibble and paused on the third. It was a little bigger than a chicken egg and a rich purple in coloration. Huh. It had just wobbled a little too. The egg had something alive in it. He'd ask Hermione about it latter, she knew a little bit more than him about this stuff and failing that Hagrid was sure to know something about it. Harry pocketed the egg and went back to feeding his pets. Mittens was fine with two eggs, she was spoiled enough as it was. And Hedwig was already gulping down the mountain of bacon. Ron Weasley had tried to sneak a piece and was now nursing a hand that Hedwig had given a brutal peck.

Up at the teachers table an odd discussion was taking place.

"...and now I can't find the damn thing. I hope none of the students find it. That could be bad." Professor Kettleburn mumbled to Professor Quirrell.

"I-I w-wouldn't w-worry ab-bout i-it. I-it n-nee-eds w-warm-th or it w-will d-die."

Kettleburn gave a laugh at that, "Yeah, and it's not like some monster happy student will be given it by mistake and they happen to have an owl or something with a mother-hen complex."

If only they knew...

To Be Continued...


	6. Enter Sam: Great Minds Think Alike

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. If I did I would be rich and not writing fan fictions.

Chapter 6: Enter Sam: Great Minds Think Alike

As Harry and the other students prepared for bed a small teachers meeting was taking place in the Great Hall.

"I gave the seventh year students eggs to identify and one of them disappeared AFTER all of them were turned in. Its not a big problem though. Despite the species infamous abilities the egg requires a lot of care and warmth to properly develop and considering the danger involved in the species' adults maybe it's best for all if it dies before it lives."

Everyone nodded at Kettleburn's explanation. Well, all of them with the exception of Hagrid.

"See 'ere now! Tha' little fella ain't dun not'in' ta no'ne an yer jus' gonna let it die?!"

"Hagrid," everyone turned to the Headmaster, "I will instruct the house elves to find the egg and return it to Professor Kettleburn. Afterward, Professor Kettleburn, I must ask that you contact the Department of Control of Magical Creatures and to refrain from bringing such animals to the school in the future, regardless of what life cycle stage they are in. While it is not illegal to own them or trade the parts of them they are supremely dangerous." Hagrid looked relieved and Kettleburn nodded reluctantly. "Now then, I suggest we go get some sleep, classes start tomorrow and we will need our rest."

* * *

In Harry's dorm, The-Boy-Who-Lived was pondering why his trunk was open. Nothing was missing but, it looked like a hurricane had happened inside the damn thing. Weired. Oh well, he'd report it tomorrow. Another odd thing was that Hedwig had gone all motherly on the egg he was given. She had built a large nest atop his bed's headboard and was currently sitting atop the egg looking as though she was the High Queen Bird of Motherhood. She actually seemed to be glowing. He wasn't sure if he wanted to know where she had gotten all those twigs on such short notice...

* * *

Filch was doing his nightly rounds and was currently staring wide eyed into the broom storage room. There was a problem. There were supposed to be brooms in here. There were only sticks. All the bristles had been removed. Hooch was going to be pissed.

* * *

...bah! Didn't matter. She was happy and the egg was being taken care of.

* * *

The next morning Headmaster Albus Dumbledore was given a somewhat disturbing report by Filch.

"First I found the bristles gone from all the brooms and now six house elves have gone missing."

"Hmm." Dumbledore folded his fingers in front of face in thought. "The brooms are probably a prank. Keep an eye on the Weasley twins." Filch nodded. "As for the elves, I am at a loss. I suppose it could just be a prank but, for a student to be able to subdue six house elves, that is cause for worry. We will be searching every student's trunk and the whole school. However, keep this quiet. We don't need the DMLE poking around and disrupting things." Not to mention they might get lucky and find the Sorcerers Stone and ruin his plan. He could also use the search to look through Harry's things and "confiscate" whatever he didn't approve of as contraband. Who ever had detained the house elf he sent last night was in for an expulsion. He HAD to begin influencing Harry. It was the only way to defeat Tom. He was planning on sending Harry a letter to invite the boy to meet in his office today, after potions of course, he needed Severus to destroy the boys self confidence after all. The fact that Severus would, undoubtedly, assault the boy's mind as well was a bonus. The weaker the boy was mentally the easier it would be to control him. It was for the greater good and had to be done.

* * *

Everyone's favorite potions master was currently down on his hands and knees looking for a beezor he had dropped. His concentration on the task at hand and the thoughts of torturing Potter were so great that he didn't notice the noise behind him.

Spike clicked in amusement. This bad smelling monkey was making it too easy. The massive scorpion reared its tail back and then struck with all his might.

* * *

We see the outside of Hogwarts, the rolling hills and the scenic lakes. Suddenly we hear an agonized scream that seems to shake the very landscape.

"Yyyeeeeaaaaaaarrrrrrgggggggghhhhh!!"

* * *

Harry had awoken to an unusual sight. The egg that Hedwig had adopted was now the size of a large Watter-Mellon. Hedwig looked every part the proud mother. Mittens just looked on with a curious expression. Huh. Harry hadn't known that cats could could lift an eye brow.

"Well," both of his animals looked at him, "thats not something you see everyday. I bet your proud aren't you Hedwig, huh? Yes you are, yes you are!"

The owl in question preened under the attention of her master. This was what she lived for. This and bacon, can't forget the bacon.

Not one to be ignored, Mittens began rubbing against Harry's leg and purring. The boy's attention was instantly drawn to the little black cat(she had stayed in her kitten form as that was most useful in controlling the Fluffy Headed Female).

"I haven't forgotten about you Mittens." Harry bent down and picked the feline up. "But this is big news! She might not have laid this whopper but, Hedwig's going to be a mother!" The owl flew over to Harry's shoulder and the boy heard a gurgling sound. "Hungry?" Hedwig gave a hoot but, then looked back at "her" egg. "Don't want to leave it alone huh? Well, I know what to do." Harry then called out, "Bibsy?" Instantly the elf appeared. "Would you mind watching over the egg for a bit? Hedwig wants some breakfast and I don't want her to have to eat alone." The elf's eyes grew even bigger at the sight of the giant egg but, gave a nod of agreement. "Thanks Bibsy." And with that Harry left, not noticing the elf's shocked look.

"Harry Potter Sir thanks Bibsy?"

* * *

Breakfast was uneventful until a Great Barn Owl entered the Great Hall and headed for Harry. Hedwig instantly dropped the piece of bacon she was eating and shot toward the intruding owl. When the two met in the air there was what could only be described as an explosion. Bird parts and blood showered over the table below the "incident", as it was latter declared. That table happened to be the Slytherin's table. The Barn owl's stomach slapped into Draco's face in particular. The rest of the Slytherins were covered in blood, feathers and various organs. Hedwig, still with a little of the other owl's blood on her beak and talons, brought the letter to Harry and then returned to her bacon.

"Huh?" Harry regarded the gore covered letter for a moment and was about to open it when Bibsy appeared.

"Harry Potter Sir!" The elf looked around and noticed she was the center of attention and dropped her voice. "The egg sir. It's is moving it is." Quick as a flash, Harry, Hedwig and Mittens were gone. Professor Dumbledore's letter forgotten.

* * *

Up in Harry's dorm it was quite a show. The large purple egg would sway from side to side and crack here or there, shudder then still. It was as if the damn thing couldn't make up its mind.

Hedwig was moving about, to and fro, looking the egg all over in trepidation.

Mittens was grooming herself, seemingly in her own little privet world.

* * *

Spike finished his latest snack, an unfortunate owl that was flying too low in the dungeons, before leaving and hacked out an ornate medallion with a decorative 'M' on it.

* * *

Harry just sat calmly watching the egg as if it were an everyday occurrence. Thats when a large piece of the shell fell away to reveal...

* * *

"Minerva, please have your students leave the tower. We don't want whatever is the cause of all this ruckus to possibly harm a student." After speaking to the Deputy Headmistress Dumbledore turned to an uncomfortable looking Severus Snape and Professor Kettleburn. "We will be looking in on what the cause of this disturbance is. It may even be the cause of the house elves disappearing." With that the four teachers entered the common room of the Gryffindor tower.

McGonigal instantly began herding the students out of the room and scanning for any more of them. Professors, Snape and Kettleburn along with Dumbledore wandered up the stairs and entered the Dorm that housed Harry. Swinging the door open the three entered and instantly saw the large purple egg break open to reveal...

...The ugliest reptilian thing that any of them had ever seen.

The creature was easily six feet long and had the body trunk of a Komodo dragon, a long tail that ended in a fleshy fin, stumpy legs with large talon like claws, down its back were fleshy spines that were covered in a fine fuzz, and its neck and head looked like a python with the neck being nearly a foot and a half long. The oddest qualities of the animal were that it was covered in a thick dark purple fur with a bare violet underside. Its head was adorned with a small pair of antlers and it had brilliant green eyes, a similar shade to Harry's.

Hedwig had already bounced up to the thing's face and was giving it light, affectionate nips. The thing gave a content hiss when Harry ran a hand through its surprisingly soft fur. This caused Harry to smile in happiness.

Dumbledore and Snape's attention were now on Kettleburn. The Potions instructor and the Headmaster were masters of reading body language and could tell the man was both horrified and shocked.

"No one move." Kettleburn whispered. "It's worse than I thought."

"How?" Dumbledore responded.

"I had suspected it was actually a cross bread but, had no way to tell. The eggs of pure breeds and this kind of cross are identical in every way. This thing is part Cryohydra as I told you it was last night. The other part though...it's part Nidhogg."

"A what?" Snape asked in doubtful tone.

"A Nidhodd." Kettleburn answered. "The old Norse had their own dragons and myths regarding them. The Nidhogg was the serpent that sucked at the roots of the world tree. In the legends he was a vile thing, evil and violent. That legend only referred to one but, it was an entire species. The antlers and thick fur are a dead give away. Some Asian dragons have hair and antlers but, not like that. The legends were right on the money to. While extremely rare they are Violent and easily angered. You think a nesting Hungarian-Horn-Tail is bad? Prey you never see a normal Nidhogg."

That was all Snape needed to hear. "_Diffindo_!" The severing charm shot out of Snape's wand, even as Kettleburn shouted "NO!"

The spell impacted at the base of the creatures neck and had the full effect. The Cryohydra/Nidhogg hybrid's head fell off in a small gush of blood. The body swayed for a moment and then collapsed. Harry let out a shocked moan and Hedwig looked...well...exasperated was the only way to put it. Mittens just continued "cleaning" herself.

"Well," everyone's attention was drawn to the Headmaster, "This was for the best. We cannot have such dangerous animals running about."

"You two must be brain damaged!" Now everyone was looking at Kettleburn as he regarded Snape and Dumbledore with an incredulous look. "WHAT part of that thing being half Hydra, Cryohydra in fact, did you not understand?!"

No sooner did the words leave his mouth, the body began to move. It rose to its feet and the wound where its neck was once attached bulged out like a bubble. The former head, lying on the floor, seemed to disintegrate in a puff of smoke. In a slight show of gore two new heads shot out of the stump and they rapidly grew to full size. The two, antlered, serpent heads turned toward Snape and gave him a malevolent glare. Kettleburn took a large step away from the greasy man and seemed to be ignoring the situation. The two heads seemed to come to a decision and began advancing on Snape. Snape, finally remembering what a Cryohydra was capable of, panicked like the bastard he was and in contradiction to his realization of the facts, fired off another severing charm. This time the large Mythic lizard moved out of the way enough that only one of its heads was cut off. The two new heads grew in quite a bit faster this time and the people in the room were now looking at the ugliest three headed monster that ever lived. Just as Dumbledore was about to move in, Hedwig flew in front of the creature and gave a soft hoot before nipping lightly at all three faces, one by one. Harry renewed his petting and was rewarded by the left head turning around and licking his hand.

"Harry," the boy looked up at Dumbledore expectantly, "I am afraid that what I said still applies. You cannot keep the animal here or any where else as it is quite illegal."

"I'll be the judge of that." Dumbledore spun around to see Amelia Bones and several other Aurors. "Nidhoggs are so rare that no laws ever got passed here in the UK regarding them, so Mr. Potter can legally own one. As for the Hydra part, they imprint on what they see first and that seems to be either Mr. Potter or his "Wonder Owl"."

Dumbledore hated that nick name. Why couldn't they just accept that the owl wasn't really an owl? "Regardless, it is not on the approved pets list."

"There are at least fifteen Slytherin students, that I encountered on the way up here, that have snakes or giant bats as pets. Those aren't on the list and you don't seem to want to get rid of them."

Dumbledore wanted to reply that it was because those students parents were on the Board of Governors and were never Death Eaters so he couldn't black mail them but, that would be counter productive. "It is still a dangerous animal and its charging at Severus proves that."

"Don't take me for a fool Dumbledore!" Amelia looked pissed. "I saw the whole thing. Snape attacked it TWICE and in any case, Mr. Potter's owl stopped it. You have no grounds to even touch the poor thing."

"Oh man!" All eyes turned toward Susan Bones, who was unnoticed until this point, "My ice-cream is melting!" The large purple lizard shuffled toward the girl in a way reminiscent of an alligator and raised its heads. The cheeks of all three heads swelled slightly and then they blew out a chilling blue mist that refroze the ice-cream. "Thank you...say, what do you call him?"

Harry looked at Hedwig who simply looked back. "Hmm, how about...Sam?"

The three headed reptile, now dubbed Sam, hissed happily in acceptance. It then turned toward Snape, renewed its evil glare and puffed out its cheeks. Amelia Bones, preparing to have one of her decisions instantly bite her in the ass, was shocked by what Sam did.

"Thpppppppppppppppppppppppppppptt!" He blew a big triple raspberry at Snape, covering the man with ice cold spit.

"Great." The greasy man mumbled while shivering. "Just great."

To Be Continued...

**ANIMAL LIST!!**

Name: Sam

Species: Cryohydra/Nidhogg hybrid

Description: Dark purple fur with a light violet under belly. He currently has 3 heads all of whom can breath super cooled gases capable of freezing a person solid in only a few moments and are adorned with antler like horns. Due to his young age the spines on his back are leathery and soft instead of hard and sharp. His length from snouts to tail tip is six feet. The tail ends in a large "fin" similar to a wale's fluke and will harden into a blade like weapon as he ages but will always be pliable when he his calm. His eye's are brilliant, glowing green. His movements are similar to that of an alligator.


	7. First Encounters And Odd Reactions

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. If I did I would be rich and not writing fan fictions.

Chapter 7: First Encounters And Odd Reactions

It had been an odd first two month at Hogwarts. The first class Harry had with McGonigal was just weird...

* * *

Harry and Hermione(GASP) wandered into class about three minutes late and were greeted by a cat jumping up and transforming into McGonigal. She frowned down at the two of them. "Mr. Potter, Miss Granger, perhaps I should turn the both of you into poc..." McGonigal trailed off as she looked down at the little black kitten that seemed to materialize out of nowhere. It was sitting on the floor in a seemingly harmless position to the students but, thats not what McGonigal saw. No, she saw the intelligence behind those eyes. The merciless, dark intelligence of a man eater. But, that was impossible. This was only a little kitten. There was no sign of it being an animagus and there certainly were no animals that had little kittens with a look like that. Well, with the exception of...but, that was imposable. They were huge and yellow with brown spots. Quick as a bitting snake, Mittens' posture and look changed from aggressive dominant cat to helpless little kitten. The little cat even did its watery eyes thing. Hermione twitched violently. Half of the girls in the class swooned and McGonigal's stern look disappeared. The little kitten was just so cute.

As the class became a cat petting session Harry's mind wandered. Hmm. Was Ter taking proper care of Spike?

* * *

Ter walked by Spikes bowl and without looking dumped another serving of canned meat onto the ever growing and moldy pile of meat spilling out of Spike's bowl.

* * *

In the higher portions of the castle Spike finished off his latest meal. He didn't know where all those little squeaky things kept coming from but, that big fat thing would keep him well fed for weeks. Despite its massive size one well placed sting to the head and BANG! Instant all he could eat buffet. If only he could find another.

* * *

The first charms class proved to him that his wand did in fact have some power to it...

* * *

"_Wingardium Leviosa_!"

Harry's feather shot up to and through the stone ceiling. It continued up until it embedded its self in the left butt cheek of Dumbledore.

"SHHHHHIIIIIIITTTTTT!!" It would take years for Dumbledore to live that down.

After that class was over an odd occurrence happened.

Sam had taken to fallowing Harry around the castle. That was the case now. The large reptile had imprinted on Hedwig but, saw Harry as something of an uncle. While on the way to the great hall for lunch Harry and Sam came across Susan Bones.

"Squueeee!" Sam had no time to react before he was swept up and being cuddled by an overly enthusiastic Susan. The heads looked at each other, shrugged their mutual shoulders and let the attention be rained down upon them.

* * *

Potions...that was an experience.

* * *

"Well if it isn't Mr. Potter, our resident celebrity." Snape sneered down at the boy. "Why is your owl here Potter? I do not allow pets in this class! 10 points from Gryffindor for that!"

Perched atop Harry's head, Hedwig narrowed her eyes. She did not like this greasy human one bit. He moved out of range before she could head-but him thought. She'd just have to get him latter.

Harry narrowed his eyes as well, ever so slightly. It felt as though something was pushing against his contacts.

"Well Mr. Potter, were would I look to find a beezor?"

"In the stomach of a goat sir." The feeling became more noticeable.

Snape narrowed his eyes in anger, "What is the difference between monkshood and wolfsbane?"

"There is none sir. It is also called aconite." The feeling became intense. Harry's eyes began itching.

Snape was shaking with rage, "So you think you know everything do you? 10 points from Gryffindor for your arrogance. You are just like your father! Can do no wrong at all! Well, not in this class! Here you are no better than the other muggle raised idiots! You probably cheated to know those answers! Another 10 points from Gryffindor for your dishonesty." Snape suddenly looked slightly panicked and ran into the bathroom that was recently added to his class.

Harry just sat quietly and nodded, his mind awash with ideas of how to react to this.

* * *

Two days latter in the Headmaster's office...

"I assure you gentlemen and lady that there is no problem with the potions curriculum. Severus is a fine teacher and is fair in his grading, your presence is not needed here." Dumbledore was panicking. He had been blocking all the complaints about Severus to the board of governors throughout the years. Because all the complaints were given to him first he would either edit the complaint or simply throw it out. Now one of the members of the board was here with what could only be called hired goons. The person from the board of governors? Well, someone had brought Snape's attitude to the attention of none other than Augusta Longbottom.

"The letter I received not only claims that Severus Snape's grading is completely unfair but, that he specifically targets first year Gryffindors and blames them for things that are not even remotely there fault. And that when a Gryffindor does well he doesn't reward them but instead accuses them of cheating and punishes them without any real reason. Not only that but the person who wrote the letter, who shall remain nameless, indicated that Snape uses _Legitimens_ on the students. As you know that is an offense that will earn him a loss of his retirement portfolio. I will personally be questioning Snape regarding this."

"I am afraid I cannot allow that, it would be detrimental to Severus' reputation among the student body." Dumbledore was confident she would leave it there.

He was wrong.

"He destroys his own reputation every day and he refers to any one not in Slytherin as an idiot in front of the class. And if you don't allow me to question him then I will contact Amelia Bones. I'm sure she would love to have to come here again, and see the learning environment Susan is in."

In the end Snape was set on probation. He was not allowed to take or give points at all. He couldn't assign detentions or any other punishments without the permission of at least three members of the Board of Governors. Every complaint about him was called up and they discovered that he was, in fact, a giant Bastard. By the end of the year he would be lucky to still have his mastery in potions. A few days after that he was discovered with a large bruise on his forehead and was mumbling about "Evil demonic birds sent by the spawn of Potter."

* * *

Flying classes were fun, as Harry had discovered. His love of flying was a boon to Hedwig as she was happily joined him in the air while her "baby" Sam and Mittens were given attention from the Gryffindor girls and, oddly enough, some of the Slytherins.

Madam Hooch had said that Harry was an absolute natural on a broom and should try out for the quidditch team next year. That's when Neville had fallen and broken his arm.

The boy had dropped his Remember-all and Malfoy had quickly snatched it up. This had turned into an argument between the blond and Ron Weasley as the ginger boy had decided to show his Gryffindor courage. After flying around clumsily for a few minutes in an insane game of keep away, McGonigal and Hooch had shown up. Ron had lost Gryffindor 20 points and Malfoy had lost Slytherin 50, as he was steeling something at the time. The red head challenged the blond to a duel and had said Harry would be his second. Harry had told them both to kiss his butt and keep him out of their problems. Malfoy had called Harry a coward and the boy responded, "I'd rather be a coward than an idiot." Weasley and Malfoy had set their duel for midnight and then left in opposite directions. Three minutes later Ron came back blushing in embarrassment and went the same way Malfoy had.

That night Ron was discovered out of bed and given detention for about the rest of the year.

* * *

Defense against the dark arts was pretty cool, here Harry was allowed to show off Sam, seeing as how Hydras and Nidhoggs were considered very dark animals. A crossbreed? Most of the male population considered Sam the Antichrist. On the flip side, most of the females seemed to love the little guy.

* * *

"P-pleas-se s-show t-the cla-ass what y-your p-pet c-c-can d-do M-mr. P-pott-ter." In all honesty Quirrell's constant stuttering prevented even the most diligent of students form getting much work done. It took him two classes to cover the mast basic of lectures. Harry's pets didn't much cape for him either.

"Thhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhpppppttt!" Sam, particularly, loved spraying the man with his freezing spit. Especially when his back was being scratched by a girl, as was the case now.

"Who's a pretty lizard? Your a pretty lizard, aren't you?" Hana Abbot was stroking the thick fur on Sam's back as though he were a dog, an expression of wonder on her face.

Hedwig looked upon the event with pride. Her little boy was growing up so fast. SNIFF.

* * *

The lunches had been fairly entertaining too...

* * *

Most everyone looked at the Staff table in shock. Headmaster Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore was covered in bird poop. A lot of poop. Truly, words can not describe the sheer amount of avian feces that covered him. He was absolutely soaked to the bone in bird crap.

High above, hidden by the false ceiling, Hedwig, in Chimera form, let out a content sigh. That had to have been the biggest shit she had ever taken.

* * *

...but, it was a fun first two months. It was now Halloween and everyone was enjoying dinner in the Great Hall when Quirrell came running in. He seemed to be about to shout something when...

"Thhhhpppppppppppttttt!"

...he slipped on Sam's spit and tripped, knocking himself out.

Harry broke the silence, "Well it couldn't have been that important. Besides, we wouldn't be able to understand him anyway."

* * *

Pansy Parkinson walked out of the bathroom and froze at what she saw. A large black bug was eating a dead troll, head first. The thing had large pincers and a tail like a manticore's. It was also about the size of a small horse, not in hight but, body bulk. The bug just ignored her and continued to chew away at the troll, that she now saw had a large puncture wound in its back.

"Huh, now there's something you don't see everyday."

To Be Continued...


	8. Spike is Exposed!

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. If I did I would be rich and not writing fan fictions.

Chapter 8: Spike Is Exposed!

The students and staff of Hogwarts looked at the fallen form of Professor Quirrell. What the Hell could have caused that? Granted the man would act like that if a gerbil went by him but, still...

At that moment Pansy Parkinson walked back into the Great Hall with a confused expression on her face. The pug faced girl sat next to Draco and began mumbling to him. The blond quirked an eyebrow and looked at her doubtfully. Both rose from their seats and headed toward the teacher's table.

Harry took no notice of this; he was far too busy feeding Sam, Mittens and Hedwig. The resident monsters of Hogwarts were content to be in the care of their human. Sam was currently enjoying some bacon with his mother and Mittens had already devoured three whole roasted pigs, though no one seemed to notice.

Hedwig suddenly stood strait up and did three 360 degree counterclockwise rotations with her head. The creepiest thing was that she never rotated her head back the other way. The owl then set her attention on Ron and, to the shock of the students, projectile vomited on the red-head. The Gryffindor table was totally silent for the moment. Then a snort came from Hermione. The girl seemed to choke on something and clamped her hands over her mouth. The bushy haired girl shuddered a few times and then couldn't contain it any longer. She erupted into a fit of bellowing laughter and fell from her seat, tears streaming down her cheeks. Hedwig ruffled her feathers in smugness and gave a condescending look to Mittens. The black kitten just shrugged and gave an unreadable look to the owl.

After Hermione had calmed down Harry's voice came over the now silent Hall, "Hedwig, I know you like you like The Exorcist, but was that really necessary?"

The owl only nodded in answer.

Only Mittens noticed Snape, Draco and Pansy leave the Hall.

* * *

"Miss Parkinson, if this is your idea of a joke it is far from funny." The greasy man glared down at Pansy. Earlier the girl was going on about a monster eating a troll, but the area was deserted. There were no signs of a troll or any other creature.

"I swear Professor! It was HUGE! It was eating a troll and was making this honorable clicking noise."

Snape froze and locked eyes with the girl. Using his _Legitimens _ability he peered into her mind. What he saw confirmed his fear. That THING was still in Hogwarts somewhere. Lurking around and stinging innocent people in the ass! He clenched at the memory. He didn't dare go to the Headmaster over this; the old man would use it as more blackmail material. The geezer already had far to much dirt on him. Death Eater? HA! He could get Lucius to get him out of that. No, the Headmaster knew his deepest, darkest secret. His greatest shame. A black mark on his identity no mater what world he was in. He was a My Little Pony(I Don't Own) fan and was ashamed of it. He also had the world's most complete collection of their merchandise. He kept it hidden of course. If any one found out about it he would just die.

"Professor?" The (strange) man turned toward Draco.

"Yes?"

"What's that clicking noise?"

Snape strained his hearing and heard it. Click. He shuddered, remembering the noise of that EVIL monstrosity running away. Click clack. Oh God, it was closer. Clack crunch. Snape knew that sound, it was breaking bones! The damn thing was breaking someone's bones! Squirt, splat. Snape and his two suck ups, erm, I mean, students, looked at the lump of crushed bones and troll skin in a mix of horror and curiosity. Snape, being the bravest...no, not bravest...least cowardly of the group, looked up...and screamed like a five year old girl. Clinging to the ceiling was the damned thing that stung him! Snape realized, with no small amount of fear, that it was now half the size of a full grown troll. In only a few months it had more than tippled in size! When the thing shuffled around to regard them it seemed to tilt, what Snape could only assume was, its head in. The thing dropped from the ceiling and landed with a deep thud. As it raised its tail and spread its claws Snape could only think one thing.

'This is all Potter's fault, I know it.'

* * *

Three screams of absolute horror came into the Great Hall. The teachers looked up in concern, but Dumbledore seemed relieved.

'There,' the old man thought, 'now Harry will fight the troll, prove his worth, become suspicious of how the troll got in here and become aware of Tom's return.'

At that moment Snape and his two students came running in with a horrifying creature hot on their heels. Snape attempted to duck behind a table, but the creature just knocked the Hufflepuff table away, along with several students. Snape let out his little girl scream, serving to only enrage the creature more. It brought its massive stinger down and punched a hole in the stones where Snape once was and repeated the action several times before a voice drowned out everything else.

"SPIKE?!" everyone, even Dumbledore, was surprised to see Harry nearly teleport across the hall and hug the damn thing. "Who's a good boy?" The-Boy-Who-Lived began scratching the thing's back enthusiastically. "You're a good boy! Yes you are, yes you are!"

"Harry," the boy turned toward Dumbledore, "care to explain this?"

* * *

Harry's explanation had raised more questions than it answered. Where did the scorpion come from? Why did it stay with Harry? It was obviously smart, so why didn't talk like some acromantula did? How in the Hell did it get that big?! Kettleburn had sworn he'd seen the damn thing get bigger while Harry was explaining it.

Dumbledore had tried, while no one was looking, to cast a minor _bestia conprimere _(if my Latin is correct, that means Animal Control or something similar) and the magic actually bounced off the damn thing! The spell even made a BOING noise when it ricocheted! Spike, as they had discovered was his name, was less than pleased by his action.

"Spike! Stop trying to sting Professor Dumbledore! Spiiiike. Wh-hey! Put his desk down! No, not on top of him! Let go of Fawkes right now! Spike! There, see? He's given up, he's down on his wings and knees. Why are you going behind him? Oh dear GOD! SPIKE!"

The less said about that particular incident the better.

In the end it was deemed that Spike, while dangerous, was an endangered species long thought to be dead by magical society. There was a general lack of information on the species as it had been thought extincted for quite some time. Basically all they knew was that it would get bigger, become more intelligent, and loathed lowed noises. In fact, Snape had screamed again and had sent Spike into another rage, but thankfully Harry was able to calm his pet. Hagrid had declared that Spike was a bit bigger than when he last saw the "Little Fella". Dumbledore was less than pleased that Hagrid had left that part out of his report about Harry's day in Diagon Alley. In Hagrid's defense Dumbledore had asked him to explain what Harry did IN Diagon Alley, not what happened before hand.

Amelia Bones had come by with some people from The Department of Control of Magical Creatures. Spike was nothing short of being a living fossil and a miracle of modern Magical Zoology. Due to the current size of the "Green" Wizard population Dumbledore had choice in the results of the groups findings. Due to Spike obviously having an emotional attachment to Harry he would be left in the boy's care. Dumbledore had protested some what, saying that the arachnid was dangerous and could not be kept in a school. He referenced the issue with Fawkes and declared that Spike could remain in the Forbidden Forest. One of the reps from DCMC had asked what part of him having no say the matter did he not understand. So, it came to pass, Spike was allowed to live at Hogwarts when Harry was there.

* * *

The general reception of Spike was varied.

"If Potter lets that thing near me I'll...I'll...SOB...don't look at me!"

"That thing nearly ate my Draco and me! Hold me Draco!"

"Get OFF of me Pansy!"

"First the Cat, then the Owl pukes on me and now a giant bug. Wonderful. Oh Bugger, the damn thing puked on me again!"

"Who's a cute little bug, you are! So cute too! Not as much as Sam, but still cute"

"Well, I've never read anything about this species, but if Mittens got it for him I guess it's okay to be around."

"Still a cute littl'r fella."

* * *

Dumbledore looked at his familiar in mild worry. Ever since the...Incident...Fawkes had become somewhat lethargic. He also seemed...fatter. Not that Dumbledore would say that out loud. He commented on Fawkes weight once about 30 years ago and still had a scar from it. The Phoenix let out a thrill that startled Dumbledore. Through his connection with the bird he was able to understand the meaning of the song.

"You want pickles and chocolate ice cream?"

The Phoenix just glared at the Old man, but the message was clear. 'Get them or else.'

Grumbling, the old man stood and went to get the food items. He was not a man that liked taking orders. He gave the orders damn it. As he exited his office the Headmaster could have sword her heard Fawkes think, 'I look like a cow! Waaaah!'

To Be Continued...


	9. Enter George: The Evil Black Bird

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, if I did I would be rich and not writing fan fiction

Chapter 9: Enter George: The Evil Black Bird

_AN-I will have a translation of **my **spell at the bottom of the story._

Dumbledore hadn't been this worried since it was almost exposed that he was basically responsible for Voldemort. Fawkes, for the last week, had been getting fatter and fatter. The once pristine bird now looked like a turkey. Dumbledore couldn't even complain about that damn scorpion any more. Any time he did Fawkes would start crying and eating even more. The scorpion. It was the cause of all of this. This last week had been horrible...

* * *

MONDAY

A swarm of house elves came streaming out of the kitchens in a panic. Hot on their heels was Spike, whom seemed to be drooling with a tiny leg hanging out of his mouth. The scorpion slurped the limb down and quickened his pace. He had small, crunchy, green things to catch. Yum!

* * *

TUESDAY

Kettleburn surveyed his classroom and wasn't sure how to feel. On the one hand, he could accept that bad things occasionally happened and that he would have to cancel his class; depriving all the kids of a chance to see him bitten or dismembered. OR, he could rejoice that Mr. Potter's "Pet" had gotten into his class, torn open his cages, eaten the animals, barfed up their remains and was now taking a nap in the center of the classroom. Hm. Decisions, decisions.

* * *

WEDNESDAY

Albus Dumbledore looked across the Great Hall in disappointment. The elves had worked so hard to get the tables back together and "Spike" had destroyed the wooden structures quite easily. God knew why, but that damn arachnid loved chasing Severus around. The Headmaster wasn't even aware the potions teacher could run that fast, or that "Spike" could for that matter.

* * *

Albus paused in his memories to hand Fawkes another chocolate covered anchovy. Thursday, while not loud, was not normal by any means.

* * *

THURSDAY

Albus walked into his personal water closet, Daily Prophet in hand, and froze. In front of him was an unusual sight.

Spike and Sam were playing Five-Card-Stud and using his toilet as a table. It was actually kind of funny to see Sam use his outer head's mouths like hands. Spike had a large pile of chips in front of him and Sam looked a little panicked. Both turned to him and seemed to give a look that said "Do you mind?"

* * *

FRIDAY

Snape was pressing himself up against his chamber wall, his eyes wide with fear. Spike had him cornered and his stinger was held high in anticipation. The greasy man quickly looked around for a chance to escape and saw that the room's door was still open. Snape tensed his leg muscles and prepared for the run of his life when, to his horror, Potter's kitten wandered in and kicked the door closed. The mangy little thing actually looked SMUG!

Little did Snape know; looking smug was one of Mittens' specialties.

The potions Professor whimpered when Spike gave off a sinister click and stalked forward. Why did God hate him so?

-In Heaven-

"BECAUSE IT IS AMUSING, WHY ELSE?" ring, ring, God answered his phone, "HELLO? Kerrrriiiin!"

* * *

It was currently Saturday and Dumbledore was just glad that there had been no issues with the boy's Owl this week. The damnable thing was an evil abomination and was plotting his death as he thought. It always seemed to be able to get him when he wasn't paying attention.

SPALT!

Dumbledore began shaking in rage as a warm, wet, feeling spread across his head and shoulders. Looking up he spotted one of the sources of his ire. Hedwig ruffled her tail feathers and shot out another turd, hitting Dumbledore right in the face. The Headmaster roared in anger and began firing off spell after spell. Once his vision had cleared there was no sign of Hedwig, aside from her leavings and the damage his spells did to his office. A strained squawk drew Dumbledore's attention to his familiar. The Phoenix was huffing, puffing and looked like it had to crap.

"Oh, Hell. You're going into labor aren't you?"

"SQUAWK!!"

"Well, I can't really do any thing about that."

"SQUAAAAAAAWK!"

"...damn."

* * *

Spike looked up from his latest meal and clicked one claw, then the other. Something was going down and he was involved. Hmm. Quickly heading toward the source of the feeling, Spike left his meal half finished and forgotten.

It would be two days before anyone would find the remains of the house elf. Every one assumed it was one of Harry's Pets, but no one could prove it.

* * *

Dumbledore looked at the result of Fawkes' labor and felt a chill go up his spine. The egg was easily the size of a Cantaloupe and pitch black. It was ice cold to the touch and gave off a feeling of, well, emptiness. The old man's eyes moved to Fawkes, who was ignoring the egg. It saddened him slightly, but Fawkes was a Phoenix and would have nothing to do with a dark creature, even his (Or was it her) own offspring.

"You can't just ignore it."

Fawkes gave off a squawk and continued to ignore the egg.

"Sigh, I suppose I'll have to get Professor Kettleburn to look after it." as the old man walked out of his office Fawkes flew on to his shoulder and rode along.

No sooner had the door to the office closed than Spike came out of the shadows. The Giant invertabret scuttled over to the wrinkled monkey's desk and reached up with his massive claw, taking the egg. Anyone capable of speaking scorpion would have heard him say, "Yoink!" There was clicking for a second and then silence, the mysterious egg gone.

* * *

"So let me get this strait," Professor Kettleburn stared at the old man doubtfully, "for the past few days Fawkes has been getting fa-" PECK "OUCH! Full, getting fuller in size and then laid an egg? He's male Dumbledore."

"I am well aware of the sex of my familiar, thank you, what could have caused this?"

Kettleburn crossed his arms and eyed the Phoenix oddly. "All I can do is guess," he paused in thought, "but if a Phoenix has a traumatic experience it will bottle the negative emotions and energy up, causing them to interact with Phoenix's natural resurrection ability."

"And that means?"

"The Phoenix, regardless of sex, will lay an egg that is the living embodiment of its negative feelings. A Black Phoenix. It's only a theory though. As far as I know no reports of one have ever been confirmed."

"I see. Thank you, that will be all." Kettleburn nodded and left the office. Dumbledore turned toward Fawkes and spoke, "So, what are we going to do about your Ass-Baby?"

The sound of an old man screaming filled the air, along with the sound of a very satisfied Phoenix.

* * *

Harry regarded the black egg in his hands and wondered just what in the Hell was going on. A few minutes ago Spike had given him the egg, let out a firm click, then wondered off. Just a few seconds ago he had heard a little girl scream and then a bunch of running around, but shrugged it off. It wasn't important. As long as Spike was staying out of trouble it wasn't his concern. Hm. How exactly had Ter sent the little guy.

* * *

Ter stood in front of the mountain of old meat and drank some coffee. Spike must be on a diet. Come to think of it he hadn't seen him for a few days...okay, a week...alright, a month...OKAY, several months! God, slam him into a wall why don't you.

* * *

Oh well, didn't matter. Huh? The egg was wobbling.

Hedwig peered over her master's shoulder at the egg in his hand. She had gotten a sniff of the thing and it smelled like The Clicker and that poser of a bird in the Wrinkly Human's dwelling. It was, most assuredly, an odd scent.

Mittens eyed the shaking think as though it were a toy. Of course cats will play with anything and everything, but this was like a cat looking at a mouse as a toy; she's play with it then eat it.

Spike was...somewhere. Honestly, no one ever seemed to know where he was. "Aiiiieeeee!!" Aside from Snape.

Sam, all three of his heads, seemed content to continue freezing all of the beds aside from Harry's.

Harry glanced at the book lying on his bed in longing. It was a good book to. Odd Spells That Don't Seem To Make Sense Until You Need Them was a world class book. He didn't know why it wasn't on the required reading list. If he would have simply read the author he would understand. Gellert Grindelwald. Oh well! The egg hatching in his hand was more important. Wait, hatching? Yup, it was hatching. Pretty quickly too. Oops, there went a large chunk of it. Harry dropped the egg when it burst into a large ball of black fire.

The miniature black sun floated in the room for a few minutes before it let out an empty cry that chilled the blood of everyone that heard it. With the exception being Harry, Hedwig, Sam, Mittens and Spike. The black sun shrunk in on itself and took the form of an elegant black bird, with three long tail feathers. The dark avian seemed to fly on an invisible air current as it circled Harry. The bird was the same size as Hedwig in her owl form, but with a long neck and narrow head. The bird eyed Hedwig for a moment and then settled on Harry's left shoulder, letting out a soft tune. Harry slowly reached up and scratched the bird's beautiful head.

Hedwig grunted in annoyance, but let the newbie stay. As long as it kept off of Harry's right shoulder there wouldn't be an issue.

Mittens regarded the new comer with a critical eye. It didn't seem to be a threat, but one could never be too sure. If it damaged her human she's make short work of it.

Sam continued freezing things without a single care in the world.

Around the corner Spike watched with a keen eye. It partially had his scent and was clearly powerful. Not as powerful as him mind you, but still powerful. This would be fun.

"Well," Harry muttered, "what do I call you?" He tapped his chin in thought before smiling brightly, "How about George?"

George's head bobbed back and forth before nodding his acceptance.

"WHAT THE BLOODY HELL IS THAT?!"

Harry and his little group turned and saw Percy Weasley leveling his wand at the newly named George.

"It's George."

"I DIDN'T ASK WHAT ITS NAME IS, WHAT IS IT? I'LL TELL YOU WHAT IT IS! IT'S A SHOWING OF YOU BREAKING THE RULES! OWLS, RATS, CATS AND TOADS ONLY!"

Not trusting the sanity of a man so obsessed with rules Harry acted first. Recalling a spell he had just read about, he spoke as though he had been using the incantation for years, "_Malum Monachus Attero Meus Adversarius._"

The audience that had gathered, drawn by Percy's screams, looked on in shock as a monkey flew from Harry's wand and grabbed onto Percy's face. The shrieking primate bit the Hell out of the red-head's face and then grabbed his large ears. Percy looked on in abject terror as the monkey swelled up, seemingly ready to pop. The evil little monster glared at the Prefect and promptly exploded. After the eldest Weasley brother had collapsed to the floor Sam had shuffled up to his fallen form. The three heads sniffed the boy before acting. "Thpppppppppptttt!" Leaving the boy covered in spit.

To Be Continued...

**ANIMAL LIST!!**

NAME: George

SPECIES: Black Phoenix

DESCRIPTION: He looks like Fawkes, but is a little larger and totally black, even the beak and eyes. His behavior will similar to his "Father" Spike.

_Malum Monachus Attero Meus Adversarius_-Evil Monkey Destroy My Adversary


	10. Monkeys, Midgets, And Harassing Money

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, if I did I would be rich and not writing fan fiction

Chapter 10: Monkeys, Midgets, And Harassing Money

AN-I would like to thank DarkNinjaBunneh for giving this story its 100th review. THANK YOU!!

* * *

McGonigal scowled as Percy once again approached her. For the last week he had been complaining about Mr. Potter's pets and how they were a violation of the rules. What didn't that little dim-wit understand about higher powers? The law said that Harry was allowed to keep the animals and because of that he was fully capable of keeping the damn things. Though she did agree that letting the scorpion eat the house elves was going to far. "Must be its natural prey" my ass. This was why she hated hippies.

"Professor McGonigal?"

The stern woman placed her attention solely on Percy, causing him to flinch. "Yes Mr. Weasley?"

"That spell Potter used," The anal red head looked around in a paranoid fashion, "I-I think it had some kind of...lasting effect. There's this evil monkey following me around."

"Mr. Weasley," the old woman rubbed the bridge of her nose, "There is no evil monkey. Madam Pomfrey and the Headmaster have both checked you for curses and spell lingering and found nothing. STOP trying to get Mr. Potter into trouble! You're lucky he didn't pres charges against you for threatening his pets, they are endangered species you know; aside from his cute little kitten."

Percy shuddered. He had met the "Cute Little Kitten" while trying to regain access to Harry's room. He still had explosive diarrhea from whatever the damn thing did to him. Speaking of which!

"Gotta go Professor, Bye!"

McGonigal just blinked as Percy ran off, clutching his butt.

* * *

Percy exited the stall in the bathroom and let out a sigh of relief. No sooner had his cheeks touched the seat had the floodgates opened. He had to flush several times before he finished to keep the toilet from overflowing. He had seen Madam Pomfrey for it and found that he had some rare tropical ailment that caused horrible, nightmarish, diarrhea. Apparently the cure was even less pleasant than the problem.

As Percy washed his hands he looked into the mirror and saw the bathroom door open a little bit. Certainly not far enough for a person to enter through. The red haired boy choked off a scream as a small, hairy, hand reached around the door. Ever so slowly a furry little head peeked around the corner and glared. The monkey raised its hand and pointed at the prefect with a shaking hand. Percy whimpered as the monkey charged.

* * *

Flint was walking along one of the halls when he heard one of his favorite sounds; a Gryffindor screaming. Poking his head into the boys lavatory he was delighted to see a monkey climbing all over Percy Weasley and ripping the uptight ass a new one.

"HA HA! That's the funniest thing I've ever thing!"

The monkey abruptly stopped pulling out Percy's nose hair and regarded Flint with a critical eye. The two eyeballed one another for a moment before nodding to one another and the monkey continued to terrorize Percy. Flint briefly wished he had camera, this was priceless.

* * *

Professor Flitwick was never really a paranoid person. True, during You-Know-Who's rampage he was always looking over his shoulder, but so was everyone else. Right now he was feeling kind of paranoid. He was positive something was fallowing him. Something much larger than him. After the horror stories he heard from Dumbledore about Harry's pets he was fairly certain one of them would try to eat him. He was just unsure of the identity of the predator after him. Manny things had tried to eat him in his life and he had several strategies he kept in good practice for situations like these. If it was the cat he would use a catnip charm on it then run like Hell; being half Goblin he could see that the thing was clearly not all appeared to be and was a dark creature. On the flip side, being half Goblin, he knew that just because it was dark did not mean it was evil. That was one thing Dumbledore never did understand. The Owl? He's summon several large mice, make them smell delicious and then run like Hell. The Hydra thing? A few quick Confundus Charms and then he'd run like Hell. The Phoenix? Well, there was a difficult situation. Spells for dealing with a Phoenix were few and far between. Also, George was a dark Phoenix; who knew what spells meant for harming a Phoenix would do to its polar opposite? He wasn't to worried about it though, George seemed to like him if their first meeting was any indication.

* * *

Flitwick stared up at the dark bird on Harry's shoulder and suppressed a shudder. It was like the thing was looking through him, into his soul and then beyond it. Fawkes had given him a similar look when they first met, but this look was far deeper and more judgmental in comparison to Fawkes' look. The dark bird nodded and let a small note that soothed the diminutive Professor in a way that Fawkes' song could not. The little man smiled. "Welcome to Hogwarts George! Hope you enjoy your stay."

* * *

Spike however...that was the real wild card. He was familiar with scorpions, some duelist had summoned some giant ones against him on occasion when he was a professional, but, the idea of fighting one THAT big...he just didn't want to do it. Contrary to what Dumbledore thought someone had seen him attempt to control Spike and that someone was Flitwick. Being the charms Professor he was familiar with spell resistant material and to see the shielding that Spike had...he NEVER wanted to fight the thing. Ever. He couldn't come up with any strategies that would work after thinking them through. If it was Spike that was after him, he held no illusion...he would die. Probably very painfully too.

Click.

Flitwick froze in the hallway. He was well aware that Spikes clicking could heard when near. He quickened his little legs.

Click, Clack.

Sweating now, the little Professor broke into a jog.

Click, Clack, SNAP!

Filius Flitwick let out a scream as he duct away from a snapping claw. Casting a levitation charm on himself, he zoomed away from Spike, who was in hot pursuit.

Oh, NO! This little one was not getting away from him! He was hungry and the Green Crunchy Things had been avoiding him somehow and this little one was not escaping.

The people in the Great Hall were shocked when a screaming Professor Flitwick came zooming in, followed by Spike. The massive scorpion was knocking over any one in his way as he chased the small Professor to the Faculty Table. As spike neared his target, who was hiding behind Dumbledore, Harry cast a spell.

"_Sulum unus diligo is!_"

The entirety of the residence of Hogwarts looked on in fascination as a small item appeared in front of Spike. The item was on a plate, sitting neatly with some sherbet ice cream and the item was still steaming a little. It was a slice of pie.

Spike regarded the dessert in front of him and in the blink of an eye devoured it. The large arachnid turned around and slowly walked toward the doors of the hall.

Flitwick was the first to speak.

"How did you know that would work?"

Harry shrugged, "First: Everybody likes pie." there was nodding all around, "And Second: You have some pie crust on your beard. That's why he was after you." Harry ignored the amused click Spike made before he exited the hall.

* * *

Draco Malfoy was far from pleased. He had sent his father several letters stating that he needed exotic pets as well. His father would always reply that since Harry's pets had found him, not the other way around, and that they were endangered he was allowed to keep them. 'Well,' Draco thought, 'I'll just have to find one.' His decision made, he entered the Forbidden Forrest.

* * *

Draco was greatly regretting his decision. He had no less than 19 Acromantula chasing him through the horrid forest. The damn things just wouldn't stop! No mater what he levitated at them they would get back up and continue the chase! As Draco tripped over a root he silently prayed that his death would be quick. One of the Acromantula reared up and prepared to end the spoiled boy's life when a Reducto(sp?) curse hit and killed it. Several more spells shot out and the other Acromantula rapidly vacated the area.

"Are you alright Mr. Malfoy?"

The pure blooded boy looked up into the face of man he had never met before. He was wearing a cloak and mask that covered everything but his eyes. One eye was covered in a deep red patch and the other eye was a deep purple in color and pierced Draco's very soul.

Trying to regain some composure Draco answered with an arrogant tone, "I'm fine. I could have handled all of that just fine, thank you."

"Of course you could." the man answered dryly. "What is the scion of House Malfoy doing out here of all places?"

"I could ask you the same question!" Draco snapped.

"I'm gathering experimental wand core material."

Draco blinked. What...

"I have full authorization from the DMLE to do so here. Quite a few interesting species here. It makes me wonder what the more recent Headmasters were thinking; allowing such dangerous animals near a place where children reside. I mean, take this for example." the man held up a blue egg covered in bright green splotches, "You NEVER see these any more. They require a lot of heat, but make excellent guardians, even though they are an endangered species."

Without thinking Draco grabbed the egg and ran as fast as he could, weaving through the trees. To Hell with finding an endangered pet, he was given one!

Mr. B smirked under his mask. That should certainly rile things up. He hated "Normal". The whole concept gave him the willies. Chaos was only way to go. That was why he used such temperamental materials in wand making. His task complete, Mr. B turned his attention to where Voldemort was just feeding on a Unicorn. The now wraithish human had run off when all the Acromantula had come by. Most of the spiders had run off by now, his presence did that to more instinctual animals. Except that one.

* * *

Marry was hungry. Being the runt of her brood, she wasn't presented with many opportunities to have a good feed. If it weren't for Daddy Aragog she would have starved to death soon after birth, but she couldn't continue to count on him for food, her sibling were already making fun of her. That was why she risked going near the place where her brothers and sisters had run from. She needed to feed and maybe whatever frightened her siblings had left something of the kill it must have stolen behind. Unlike her relatives, she was willing to scavenge. It was the trait that allowed her to live as long as she had. She also wasn't above cannibalism. Being a spider, she was used to her family trying to eat her. Aside from Daddy Aragog they had all tried to eat her at least once. The little (and I use the term loosely) Acromantula wandered into the clearing and paused, three of her brothers were out there and a Unicorn! Bobby, Phil and John were some of her meaner brothers so would take particular pleasure in feeding on them. The Unicorn was an issue though. Daddy Aragog had said to not eat them, but it wasn't because of the half life effect. That only occurred when humanoid or humanish creatures ate them. Hmm. Oh well. She was hungry and would not pass up the opportunity to eat this much at once.

* * *

Mr. B gave a shark like grin. It had been a loooong time since an Acromantula had fed upon a Unicorn. This would certainly be entertaining. His smile turned into a frown when he sensed a Centaur coming near. Order obsessed bastards. Focusing his mind, Mr. B was glad to sense the Centaur go into a dead faint. His smile returned when the Acromantula began feeding on the Unicorn. Only a matter of time now.

To Be Continued...

**Spell Translation:** _Sulum unus diligo is_-Every one loves it

Who wants to take a guess at what Mr. B and Ter are? Message me if think you know. I'll let you know if you are correct or close. Please just messages, leave it off the reviews.


	11. Enter Vicious: A True Monster

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, if I did I would be rich and not writing fan fiction

Chapter 11: Enter Vicious: A True Monster

* * *

Draco Malfoy let out a sigh of relief as he climbed into bed. He had managed to sneak back into the castle and into his dorm without any one seeing him. That strange man wasn't even able to put up a chase! He held the egg he had "acquired" and inspected it. So this thing just needed to be kept warm and it would be a perfect guard huh? Deciding to do some research on the egg tomorrow, Draco drifted off to sleep. The egg, clutched tightly in his hands, shook slightly.

* * *

Back in the muggle world an odd meeting was taking place.

"You did what?!" Terrance's laughing shout nearly awoke his neighbors.

"I gave the little blond idiot the egg we found last week." Across from Terrance was none other than Mr. B, also laughing. "He snatched the damn thing out of my hand and ran off looking like a little fairy. God, he was practically skipping."

"Jesus, tap dancing, Christ." Terrance continued chuckling. "You do understand the amount of chaos that will cause, don't you?" Mr. B just craned an eyebrow. "Right, right. Your side of the family and chaos, damn broken record."

"Harrumph!" Terrance stared at his cousin. "What?"

"I can't believe you just _pronounced_ the word Harrumph."

"Yeah, well, chaos..."

"Yadda, yadda, yadda."

"..."

"Grandma would be proud of you."

"...Yeah. I know it sounds weird coming from me, but I miss the old bitch."

"...you do know she'd kill you if she heard that."

"Yup! Mwa hahahahahaha!"

Terrance just shook his head with a smile as his cousin continued his maniacal laughter.

* * *

Draco awoke and rolled over slightly to get a more comfortable position. He froze when he heard a crunch noise. The events of the previous night came to the forefront of his mind. The forest, the spiders, the man, the egg...THE EGG! Throwing his covers off, the rich boy looked at the remains of his previous future pet. Nothing but dust remained...wait, if there was something living inside this thing...where was the goo one would expect, or the underdeveloped fetus? Jumping out of bed, Draco looked around the edge of his bed and, sure enough, near the right corner of the bed's foot resided a few pieces of the shell. So, it wasn't dead? It had hatched in the middle of the night and was now wandering around somewhere, most likely. Damn, he'd have to look for it later or he'd be late to class. He just hoped it didn't starve to death before he at least figured out what it was.

* * *

Crabe and Goyle looked on in...well okay, all they can express is stupidity...they looked on in stupidity at their once plentiful snack box. All that remained were some wrappers and a few pieces of poop. The two goons looked at one another and seemed deep in thought. Seemed is the key word.

"This ain't good i'd it?"

"...nah, it stink."

Lets leave these two conversationalists alone, shall we.

* * *

He peered around with its small, crimson, eyes and wondered at what was going on around him. These large things were stomping around and making all sorts of noise. They smelled bad too. All of them. The fat, stupid, ones had left that box thing open and he was able to get some pretty good eats. That could be a problem, he needed food to grow bigger right now and food seemed to be in short supply. Wait, what was that smell? Closing in on the stench of rotten meat, he found several humans talking.

"Inform Madam Bones about this. We obviously have a problem with those...animals...if they leave rotting remains laying around." The younger, greasier, human wandered off and the old one continued mumbling to himself. "Now I'll convince Amelia that those creatures are a danger and everything will be back on track. He'll be so distressed that it'll be easy to get close to him and manipulate him. Why am I saying this out loud?"

The old one wandered into another room and he made his move. He wasn't a fan of carrion, if the smell was an indication, but he needed the food. He quickly consumed his meal and left. Behind him he could hear another old one yelling at the first old one.

* * *

Dumbledore rubbed his forehead in agitation. When Bones had arrived, he had taken her to where the dead house elf was found. To his shock, the damn thing was gone! Oh, he just KNEW it was the owl's fault. That damn thing was snickering at him when he entered the Great Hall.

As Dumbledore continued on his way he failed to notice a lizard the size of a cocker spaniel sitting in the shadows of a statue. A winged lizard with horns.

* * *

'Okay,' Draco thought, 'this is tedious.'

He had completed classes about three hours ago and had spent every minute trying to find out what his pet was.

Kettleburn had been less than helpful.

* * *

"...and that's what the egg looked like. What is it?"

"...grunt...snort...mrph...BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!"

* * *

Obviously handling that many wild animals was detrimental to ones mental health. The mud blood bitch was of no help either...

* * *

"...so what is it?"

"...May God have mercy on your soul."

* * *

That had left...sigh...Hagrid...

* * *

"...So what in the bloody Hell is it?"

WHAP!

Draco rubbed his head where Hagrid had smacked him.

"I don' care 'o 'er fader is. No swe'rin' in ma' house." The half giant sat down and looked thoughtful. "If'n I 'ad ta guess...id be a Australian Red."

Draco looked confused, "A what?"

"A Australian Red. Kind'a Dragon. Thems a weird breed le' me tell ye. Thems dern near gone coz'hu dem umpin anyt'in Dragon like. Not breedin' wit der own kin' makes no baby."

Draco ignored the half blood reaching out and checking a hatch over the fire place and continued his questions.

"What do they eat?"

"Oh, dern near any t'ing."

"I see."

* * *

Percy whimpered as the monkey punched him in the face again. He had thought that eating his lunch in the dorm rooms would throw the monkey off. He was wrong. Neither one noticed the small red dragon eat Percy's lunch and then run off.

* * *

Out in the Forbidden Forest, Marry was not having a good day. She had eaten that unicorn, but was regretting it now. She had passed out last night and now her stomach hurt. A lot. All of her joints were sore, she felt disoriented and she was dehydrated. At least the last one was easily addressed. There was a river near here and she could drink from it. Crap. Her center of balance was off now too. She was a mess. Approaching the water she looked at her reflection and froze. She moved to the right. The reflection followed. She moved to the left. Same thing. Huh. That was her.

THAT WAS HER?!

* * *

After regaining a bit of her sanity the she spider did a closer inspection of her self. She wasn't so much of a spider any more, at least by half. Where her fangs and eyes should be the upper half of a human was sticking out. She blinked her knew eyes. God, that was a weird feeling. She lifted her arms up and examined them more closely. Well, she'd be better able to grab things now. She absently brushed her fingers through her hair and grunted in agitation. Why did humans grow their fur this long? It served no purpose other than to look pretty. Maybe some sort of mating thing? Who knew? And what in the HELL were these THINGS sticking out of her chest?! Damn it. She, unlike Daddy Aragog, could not speak the human language. She'd have to kidnap the next human stupid enough to come into the forest and have them teach her. Maybe get some "clothing" as well. She was kind of cold. As she wandered off she wondered what would look better: Simple White or Black Lace? A few minutes later she paused and wondered what in the Hell she was just thinking.

* * *

He peeked around the door to the wooden structure and sniffed. She was near. He smelled her all the way up on the top of the stone place. True, they were both young, but it was never too early to look for true love! Hmm, this place had two of them in it. The larger he had never seen, but the other was the one near him when he hatched. He's have to wait till they were both gone before looking around. He couldn't risk being exposed. The two humans squealed for a moment and then left toward the stone place. Once he was positive they were gone he entered. There was a large, drooling, thing sleeping in the corner. No problem. He could tell from the smell that it was a coward. Continuing to sniff he went up to the warmest spot in the dwelling. She was in there, no doubt about it. Knocking the metal plate away, he spied his prize. A beautiful blackish green dragon, slightly older than him and just a little bit smaller. She was a looker too. Giving off a, what he thought was a, sexy growl and waggling his eyebrows, he advanced.

* * *

Hagrid returned to his hut to retrieve his keys, when Fang came running past him. Hagrid put his ear to the side of the building and listened. Something was rolling around and growling. Fearing that something bad had happened to Norbert, he broke down his door and froze. The sight that greeted him would scar him for the rest of his life. Norbert was rolling around on the floor and an other Dragon was latched onto his back and doing...THAT! The sensitive half giant was frozen in shock and thus unable to do any thing aside from look on as the two Dragons continued to go at it.

Humpidy, humpidy, hump hump hump.

At that moment Draco walked back in. "Huh, Vicious little thing isn't he? Attacking another Dragon while so young. That's a perfect name! Vicious!"

Hagrid was able to take his eyes off of the sight in front of him to look at Draco incredulously.

To Be Continued...

**Pet List!!**

NAME: Vicious

SPECIES: Australian Red Dragon

DESCRIPTION: Similar to Spike, the more he eats the more he grows. He is hump happy as long as his partner is Dragonic and female. He looks like a Hungarian Horn-Tail, but with four limbs and wings, longer horns, and a rust color to his scales. He breaths out corrosive gases.

NAME: Marry

SPECIES: Mutant Acromantula-result of Acromantula drinking Unicorn blood.

DESCRIPTION: Acromantula with human female upper body. She has shoulder length light brown curly hair, black eyes (The entire eye is black) she has pale skin and looks about 15 years old.


	12. Bada Bing

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, if I did I would be rich and not writing fan fiction

Chapter 12: Bada Bing

* * *

Dumbledore was far from pleased. Harry had numerous DARK animals and because of their statuses as rare and/or endangered species he could do nothing about getting rid of them. Even the ones that endangered students. This not only greatly angered the old wizard, but confused him. The magical government had NEVER been accommodating to animals of a magical nature. The way Goblins and Centaurs were treated was more than proof of this. Yet, now, at Hogwarts, animal rites suddenly took priority. He just couldn't explain it. What could possibly cause the ministry to suddenly care so much for magical animals?

* * *

"So, if I sign this I get a raise?" Minister Fudge was looking down on a large pile of paperwork and he really didn't feel like reading all of it.

"Oh yes," his new advisor prompted, "It will come strait away and directly into your account."

"Very well. This is for the good of the people after all." With a flourish, Fudge signed the bill and handed it over to his new advisor.

"Of course sir. That your job after all." The eye-patched man picked up the pile of papers and left the room to go file them, his black and light blue robes billowing out behind him.

* * *

The Headmaster of Hogwarts gave a sigh. He doubted he'd be able to find the person responsible, but if he did...

"At least young Mr. Malfoy's Dragon can be easily gotten rid of." An owl flew in and dropped a scroll on the old man's desk. "What's this?" Opening it, Dumbledore wanted to cry. The Minister had just approved a law that allowed his students to own Australian Reds as pets. Putting his head down on his desk, Dumbledore wondered when things had become so complicated.

A rustling of papers drew Dumbledore's attention. Looking up, Dumbledore was shocked to see a little Jackalope sitting on his desk. They were supposed to be native to the Americas only. Sure, they had their cousins, the Wolpertinger, but not Jackalopes. Twinkling at the little animal, Dumbledore spoke in a gentle voice, "Well hello little one. What are you doing here?"

The Jackalope rose onto its haunches and cocked its head in a curious manner. Then it did something quite shocking; it jump kicked the old man in the chest, sending him out of his chair and into the wall behind his desk. The Jackalope then gave a little victory screech, "Fast as fast can be, you'll never catch me!" and ran off into the Castle.

* * *

Hagrid raised an eyebrow at Dumbledore. He loved the old guy like a father, but this was pushing it, "A Jackalope attacked ye?"

"Yes! Then it said, _"Fast as fast can be, you'll never catch me!"_, and ran off!" Dumbledore looked around in a paranoid fashion.

"Well..." Hagrid seemed pensive, "I don' knew 'bout it. Don' know much 'cernin Jackalopes. 'ems tings ain't from 'round 'ere."

"I see." Dumbledore looked uneasy, "Please get me Professor Kettleburn."

As Hagrid left the office Dumbledore continued his paranoid search of the immediate area. He KNEW that creepy little thing was still around here somewhere. And probably up to no good.

* * *

Snape was, officially, relieved. That damned Scorpion hadn't found him recently and that was cause for some celebration. The greasy man pulled out a bottle of fire whiskey and chugged down half of it. A half that he instantly vomited back out.

"Good Lord!" The Potions teacher spat, "That was foul! That tasted like the stuff I was going to slip in...to...Longbottom's...oh Bugger."

As the dark, greasy, bastard of Hogwarts began to swell up, a pair of mischievous eyes twinkled in the shadows.

* * *

Out in the forbidden forest there was an...odd meeting happening.

"Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!! For the love of God, let me go you evil, vile, thing!"

Filch was hanging upside down from a tree, wrapped in spider web. The culprit? Marry.

The spiderish girl scowled. This human was of no help. No mater how she tried communicating with him, he just kept screaming. A rustling noise caught her attention. Turning quickly, she froze at what she saw. He was at least half the size of Daddy Aragog and looked three times meaner. His forward limbs were large claws and his body ended in a long tail, tipped with a stinger.

Being fluent in all arachnid languages, Marry perfectly understood what he said, "Well hellooooooo."

* * *

Back in Hogwarts, Vicious was on the prowl. His beloved from the hut was sent off to some sort of a reserve and was unaccessible to him. But that mattered little. He could smell a new beloved. Granted, this one was only part Dragon, but still, she would do. Licking his lips in anticipation, Vicious entered the Gryffindor dorms.

* * *

All three of Sam's heads shot up at once. There was someone nearby. Someone with an unhealthy obsession with his mother. Being over protective sons, they couldn't let this happen. Sneaking from the nest, so as not to wake Hedwig, Sam advanced toward the smell of the intruder. The little three-headed reptile paused when the door began opening. Before the intruder could see him Sam ducked under his Mother's Human's bed. When the intruder entered Sam gave of three soft snarls. It was the pale Human's little Dragon Whore. As the whore approached the bed, Sam let out three jets of ice and froze the little rapist solid. Sam came out from under the bed and eyed the ice sculpture before him. Then, placing himself on the opposite side of Vicious and the dorm's window, he gave the little Dragon a mighty smack with his tail flipper. As the iced up Dragon went sailing through the window and into the lake outside, Sam crawled back into the nest and went to sleep.

Hedwig cracked open an eye and looked at her son. He was such a good boy, defending his Mother's honor like that.

George was also watching this. He was impressed. The little ice spitter was more intriguing than he thought. Maybe hanging around these idiots was worth while after all.

* * *

Draco had been wandering around the Dungeons looking for Vicious. The little red menace was no doubt looking for a new Dragon to fight. Draco had never anticipated that Dragons could wrestle. What an odd concept. It must mean that his Dragon was exceptionally powerful; the looks that Hagrid fellow kept giving the little monster were obviously of fear. Humph. His Dragon was superior to all of Potter's pets.

Going around a corner, Draco came across something odd. It was a giant ball...of fat. There were black robes lying around the ball and a half full bottle of Fire Whiskey. Weird. And that sound...almost like a muffled scream. How odd. Wandering away, Draco decided maybe he should turn in for the night.

* * *

Albus Dumbledore was finally calming down and preparing for bed. He hadn't seen the Jackalope again and was fairly sure it was gone. Walking up to his large, ornate, bed, the Headmaster threw back the covers and let out a shriek. There, on his bed, was the Jackalope.

The antlered Rabbit rose onto its hind feet and took up a crane stance. "Hoooooyaaaaaa!!" And it Jumped up and spun kicked Dumbledore in the head. Before the Headmaster passed out he heard these words, "Fast as fast can be, you'll never catch me!"

* * *

Back out in the Forbidden Forrest, Marry was having a fascinating conversation.

"So, should I eat your human first, or you?"

Okay, a terrifying conversation.

"H-how about neither?"

Spike, as he had introduced himself to be, clicked one of his claws closed. "Mmmm, no, not an option. Can't let the others thinking I'm going soft."

"O-others?" 'Buy time, buy time.' The she spider was glancing around, franticly looking for an escape rout. She had no doubts, she could not defeat this creature. On her own.

"Yes," Spike responded, "There is the Black Fuzzy One; she thinks she is Alpha, HA! Then the Flying Silver One; she's not so bad, wish I could eat her though. She looks tasty. Then the Three Head; stupid little cold breather. And now, the Dark Flier. He's sorta my fault. I was trying to look dominate in front of The Petting Monkey."

"P-pep-pet-ting M-mon-nkey?" 'More time, more time, more time. He's almost here.'

Spike turned the front portion of himself slightly, as if thinking, before answering, "You're stalling. Why? It's not like you'll get away from me."

"She was stalling," A booming voice answered him as Aragog broke through some trees, fallowed by many of his children, "so I could get here before you had a chance to harm her."

Spike turned to Aragog and slowly spread his claws wide, his stinger coming high, "Oh good, a fight."

To be continued...

* * *

Will Spike win?

Will anyone realize what happened to Snape?

Will Draco finally understand what Vicious was doing?

Will Vicious survive his fall?

Will George have more than a bit-part?

What will become of Filch?

What is Jack Ching Bada Bing (I don't own) doing at Hogwarts?

Will I stop asking stupid questions?

Find out next time on: _Harry's Pets_


End file.
